My secular view on this, is that hope and faith is not a strategy. Financial planning is just that - planning! There are some principles to consider and then some basic math - but no calculus required!

Principles:
- Make your kids complain that other kids live in nicer house, have parents that drive new cars, and go on fantastic vacations. As for my house - it's 3 bedrooms and 1 and a half baths. We paid off the mortgage completely in 13 years and all the remodels have been paid for with cash after it was saved. NO HELOC.

- Never buy a new car. Never ever ever lease a car. Drive a car that is 2 to 5 years old at the time of purchase, let some other sucker take the plummet in the cars value.

-Save aggressively and pay your future self first! I have been putting aside 15% for most of my working career and now that I'm over 50 have been making the catch up contributions.

- No timeshares ever. No whole life insurance policies - the only life insurance to purchase is term. Other than that, make sure you have a disability insurance (employer or self-paid) and look into a long-term care insurance policy before you retire.

- Use Roth IRAs and 401Ks, etc, to the extent that you can..

The biggest thing is to get interested in your retirement future and save for it. Play with a spreadsheet and see what you can achieve if you add to 15% of your pay to retirement and then allow a fairly modest 6 or 7% market return to it every year.

Your goal is to develop a "Goose" that lays "Golden Egg's" - You don't want to eat the Goose - Just the eggs!

So - the simple guidance is this - you should live on 4% of your retirement savings a year - this way it should last. So - said another way - if you want your retirement savings to provide you with $40,000/year (separate from social security and pension) then you need to have One Million dollars saved. If you want $100,000 a year in retirement income generated from retirement savings, then you need 2.5 Million dollars saved.

So - work hard and save like you mean it when you are young - and don't let the desire to "Look good" and be perceived as a rich person turn you into a dependent of social security (a.k.a. - poor!) in retirement. Use the money to set up a Special Needs trust and to be able to provide for your disabled child and those who will care for him.

I don't have either currently. We live by faith and God always provides our needs. If He puts us into a position to where we can start a savings, we will, but until then we just trust Him to take care of us.

You should consult with an expert in the field (attorneys familiar with special needs). This topic has been on my mind for the past few years so I've talked to two attorneys and have several things in motion.

The short of it is to have a living will and trust that contains a special needs trust that is not funded. Your will can leave your assets (including things like 401Ks, IRAs, savings, your possessions, etc.) to the special needs trust at your passing. That way it has no impact on your child's ability to collect social security benefits. It is also tax proof - when money enters the trust, it does not count as assets for the individual and cannot be taxed. However, it can only be used for needs above that which the government provides via social security and Medicaid - they can't just have the cash.

Both attorneys strongly recommended not funding a special needs trust while you are alive as it has tax and benefit implications.

I should qualify this with the fact that laws (federal and state) can affect this, so you should seek a local expert.

Secondly, I was concerned about the quality of our son's life (he is 19 now and I am 54) after my wife and I pass away - if we live long and use up our retirement money, will the government benefits provide a good life for him? I think not. So, the attorneys recommended a "2nd to die" insurance policy. At the time that both my wife and I pass away (together or separated by time), it pays the policy benefits to our will, and our will specifies that 100% of that policy goes to our son's special needs trust (note: the will splits the rest of our things with him and our other 2 children). I selected a policy with an amount that I thought would be adequate for him to outlive us by 20 years or so, and a monthly payment that I could afford (I selected a 14 year payment plan, but you can get longer than that for less per month). It is essentially a savings plan and if you look at it compared to other savings plans such as an IRA, the return can be even higher, depending on how long you live. You only pay in a fraction of the value of the policy.

I hope that this helps some people start in the right direction... I spent a lot of time researching this subject as it suddenly became closer than I thought when I passed 50 (like retirement in general). If you are younger, I advise to not wait! It always seems a distant future, but it comes quick. :-)

I also caution that my description above is just a quick summary. There are lots of other details to be considered for your particular circumstance. Again... consult an attorney or other knowledgeable professional in special needs laws and finances. There are great sources, you just have to find yours locally. Here in Michigan, in the county we live in, there is a free source that has the most noted expert in the field, probably in the whole state. She was a fountain of information and we just furiously took notes.

It's different here in Sweden. Special needs kids, and really all other kids, belong to the society. There are pros and cons to this. Pros are that children are entitled by law to a comfortable life. Our ASD son is guaranteed a job, a good man to keep his accounts straight, taxis wherever they need to go, an appropriate place to live as an adult. His future is secure, and he is only limited by barriers he makes for himself. As for us? We have social security from both countries and savings. Real estate is the best investment here. We have guardianships set up through our power of attorney and wills.

Third party trust, left unfunded until I pass away, then my life ins. will fund it. If you fund it ( a 'first party trust' w/ your child's SSI, if the child passes, the government will want it back!) A third party trust, eventually funded by life ins. And inheritances if any are untouchable by the gov't. Also, once your child is receiving SSI, nobody can claim him or her as a dependent! If you do, the SSI will stop and you could be in legal trouble w/ the IRS.