My daughter has always been in her own world..she is 3.5 now and all the sudden wants to be alone in her room. She plays in there...but doesn't want to come out...she will cry to go back in...she hates her little brother so I think she just wants to get away from him...should I allow this??
yes and no.
The yes. She can't stay in the room for the rest of her life. But she needs a safe place to chill. So let her be in there when she is stressed or as a reward for good behavior or when you need a break.
The no. This is a frustration tolerance program. You need to gradually and slowly build up her tolerance to be in locations outside of her room. So coax her out when the environment is relatively calm (ie. has low level stressors). Have her stay out there for a few minutes. If she stays calm, reward her and let her go back to her room. If she does not not stay calm, do not reward her but let her go back to her room. Practice this frequently and gradually increase the time and the amount/intensity of environmental stressors.