It's great that he wants a big party! My advice, plan for the big party that he wants. But, expose him beforehand to crowded/loud areas first. Our children need to be around crowds/loud places, because it's reality. We did this to our son, he would cry, plug his ears, and tantrum on the floor, eventually he grew accustomed to it.

Hi @A MyAutismTeam Member, it’s lovely to hear from you, and that is fantastic advice of maybe a special treat with his whole class at school, and then a smaller party with lots of the elements he wants. That way he can have everything he wants in a way he can handle it.

Mentioned Users

A MyAutis...

@A MyAutismTeam Member........HELLO I havent posted you in a long While......I just wanted to tell you .....Its the Dilemma of every Mother! .....to make the decisions for your child that He / or She Cannot or Should Not make for themselves.... No Worries! Your son will most likely be perfectly Happy with whatever Birthday you Plan for him.He just needs to feel as though it is HIS IDEA.So he will think its the The Biggest and the Best Birthday Party Ever! Of course A BIRTHDAY is NOT a time when a Mother wants to be left feeling like their Child didnt get Exactly What they Wanted and its not a time when you want your Son to feel the least bit Disappointed......IF it was my son I would let him THINK that he is getting the Exact BIG BIRTHDAY BASH he is Wanting, Wishing, and Asking for. I would just be certain to Take Special Care in the Planning of his Party.but let him take a BIG part in helping with some of the BIG Decisions.Like The Theme of the Party, the Decorations,and the Flavor of the Cake etc.......He could Share Cupcakes at School with All of his Classmates or he could Bring Cupcakes for each child to school to help Decorate themselves in class or at lunch! Where I live you can Reserve an Icecream Truck and the Icecream man will stop by at a Designated place and a Specific time just to deliver Icecream for the occasion. Maybe your sons teacher would allow him to bring a favorite Movie to share at the end of the day with his class? Or how about a Pinata ? Pinatas are Alot of Fun for kids to Bust Open.Your son could bring Treat Bags for Each one of his Classmates to FILL UP and take home after breaking the Pinata on the Playground at the end o f the day..Or he could bring Treat bags Already filled from home and Ready to hand out.You could even Order Rootbeer and Pizza for him to share with his Entire class at Lunchtime.....Another really FUN way for your son to Celebrate his Birthday in a BIG Way but Not be Overwhelmed by a Crowd or the Noise..... is to have Everyone Meet at an Outdoor Place like a Special PARK, or the BEACH, the ZOO, or maybe at a Hands On CHILDRENS MUSEUM of some kind....Just some place that your Son LOVES to go and is Already VERY FAMILIAR and COMFORTABLE with.That way he wont be stressed as much with a NEW ENVIROMENT or Overwhelmed with SENSORY OVERLOAD.Outside in the open,The excessive Sounds and Noises might not be so Much of an Issue for him..Maybe you could Rent the Public Pool for a few Hours for a Private Birthday Swim Party! That way he can Celebrate with a relatively Large group of his friends but not have to be around alot of Strange people he doesnt Know or feel Comfortable with.Maybe in some Certain Particularly Familiar Public Places he wont be totally Overwhelmed by Everything going on around him at Once with NO real way to seek a place to be Alone or to have some DownTime or some much needed Peace and Quiet.

Mentioned Users

A MyAutis...

Hi, my son turned 7 in November, he wanted a big party which to for me was shocking. And yeah I didn’t think he could handle it, luckily a stomach virus was going around the school so I got lucky with the perfect excuse. But I have decided for his 8th birthday he will get to invite 3 friends. We will make his party appear to be huge but it will be mainly adult with 3 friends and cousins and of course his siblings! Hope that helps!

We have definitely encountered this with our now 16yo. He would never want to have a party of his own and sometimes he would want to go to a friend's party but melt=down when we got there. Too much sensory overload, couldn't sit for the magician, etc. Since it sounds like he knows very specifically what he would like for his party, maybe run some ideas by him about the activities, the number of people, etc. and even give him feedback about each activity to feel out if it may be a trigger for him or not. In the end, even if he gets overwhelmed during his party, you will have stacked the odds in his favor by prepping him on the details. Best of luck on the party!