He is struggling, stressed and upset over communication. I also think by 26 you have earned what you want...just saying:) lol and self harm is always a concern. You should have been completely informed to his triggers and needs for comfort and calming. I dont know what not getting what he wants means unless he wants to play with fire, he should have more freedoms. It breaks my heart that at 26 it sounds like this man has lived a hard, stressful and sad life. I would just keep trying to find his happiness in things he enjoys if no one bothered to tell you his interests thats shameful. Love and patience and talking to him with kindness is my best advise...along with more freedom.