I agree. A conversation with the mom is absolutely the first step. She knows her children and how they’d interact with your son better than anyone. And to be honest she may not want to be bothered with having an autistic child at her home. It could be a great lesson for her two boys to learn and exoerience playing and interacting with your son. But people aren’t always so nice and understanding as you know. So talk to her first and feel her out. Even if she says yes, you may get a gut feeling she doesn’t really want to do this.

Thank you! I have spoken with the mom and just today met the boys. My best friend's son is eleven and they play together wonderfully - but that's a personality thing too.

I should have explained better that we're on the end of a cul-de-sac and the boys would be playing outside in full view of both houses. Also, I do feel comfortable with their mom and she is a special ed teacher so I'm sure she knew what she was getting into when she asked me if my little dude and her sons could play together sometimes. My son just wants to knock on their door to ask if they're home and if they want to come out to play. I can see the door from my window.

I know that people can be cruel - even simply out of ignorance regarding ASD. But my issue here I think is being overprotective. I told her it's fine if they play on the street or our driveways but to please ask before inviting my son inside. My heart is still beating fast because they did all just play for a bit and the boys introduced themselves to me very nicely.

I really appreciate the feedback! I've never been a "helicopter mom" but as my son has grown and parallel play has evolved into the friendships that he has such difficulty with, I find myself becoming more protective. I just need to work through these things as they come up. I have emailed moms to give them a heads up about my son before birthday parties and such. That is always well-received. We haven't had kids even close to his age on our street until these neighbors moved in so I haven't had to deal with exactly this sort of situation in about two years. He needs to practice being with other kids if he's going to learn (and practice) the social skills he's learning. It's so cool that he really wants to go and play and hasn't lost that drive toward connection even after some negative experiences.

I need to make sure he's safe, but also let him be free to interact with others. Deep Breath! My philosophy has always been that unstructured play is vital to a child's development and just because we've received this diagnosis (and had a few bad experiences) I should stick to it. I think. -Sigh- He IS able to do this and so I need to encourage it. Right? It can't all be supervised activities...