There’s always a reason for our kids behaviors. I agree with Allison, the staff at school have jobs to do which involve them providing the help your child needs.

Ask if there is staff available to give a break like a short walk before they anticipate a meltdown or of they can making a calming area with a beanbag chair and some favorite items. If it's a public school and he is kindergarten or above, you can request a functional behavior analysis to get input on why your schools professionals are seeing these behaviors and if there are things they can do that can help, like extra staff, extra breaks, smaller classes....

Im so sorry to hear this. You must feel stressed about it. I agree with what’s been said. The behaviours are showing overwhelm or distress. This means staff need to be proactive. Sometimes those programs are less structured and it can leave a kid feeling overstimulated after an already long day. Are there options for a quiet space? Headphones? Some decrompression time or an establishment of a special routine for him? Maybe he gets a snack, then his own toy bin, something he can rely on? Make a plan for him prior to behaviours? It might not solve it, but might reduce them. My son struggles with this stuff at school, and we found out tgat one kid was hugging him by surprise and this was very disregulating for our little guy.

It's been my experience that afterschool programs do not have to be as accommodating as school. My son does not generally like having people in his 'space' especially other kids. He is 13 and nonverbal. He got pushed out of some preschools/daycare. It's a really frustrating situation. Maybe a director of the program might have some understanding.

How old is he? If very young put the boundary down, with as little words as possible and distract and reward positive behaviours. Best of luck!