Well...Discipline...
With My Son, it was and continues hard to discern if His actions were Intentional or not, and if He even realized what He'd done and would be able to understand the affect of His actions.
It's really only a choice that a Parent or Guardian is capable of making.

First thing is the diagnosis the psychological side and the behavioral side and the social side

You are right we do understand a lot more than people think. I just was not able to react to everything the right way and when things were explained to me was slow to catch on.

It depends with my son (who IS verbal). He usually only gets aggressive when he’s tired or understimulated. He doesn’t usually hit people, it’s mostly running away or having a meltdown. He doesn’t want to clean up, change his Pull Up (even if he’s poopy), or wait a bit to take a bath (he wants it the very moment he asks, and sometimes it isn’t possible). If he’s tired, I take him up to his room, where I have blackout curtains, or if he’s understimulated, I try to play with him. So, at least the first step is to try to figure out WHY he’s being aggressive. Is he over or understimulated? Is he tired? Is he having trouble transitioning to a different activity that he maybe just doesn’t like? Is he hungry? The times that I can’t figure out what’s going on with my son, and he’s having a meltdown, I will take him to his room to calm down. I’ve done my best to teach him that if he needs to do it, then his room is the appropriate place. Sometimes he will start getting upset, and runs up to his room by himself. I also keep the things in his room to a minimum. He has stuffed animals (that won’t hurt or damage anything if thrown) and a small bucket with some sensory balls, 2 little ice cream vans, and some soft plastic Pajama Mask characters, nothing with lights or sounds. He can break, chew, or take apart almost anything. He’s 5 right now, and about 40 lbs. so it’s getting harder to be physical with him (like you hold your child and rock). If I don’t feel like he’s tired, I let him have his iPad to watch YouTube Kids in his room. I recently found out about that. It’s all kid friendly videos that have been approved by YouTube, so I don’t have to worry about him watching something that might not be appropriate. If something is going on that’s pretty quick, like changing him, wiping his face, or washing hands for example, it’s best to count down. Start with 10 or 15 seconds. As the numbers get smaller, they understand that it’s all over when you get to 1. Counting up, which makes the numbers bigger can be too overwhelming.

My dad was somewhat strict on me growing up in the 40's. The fair thing to them they had no idea that I was autistic +dd they just put up with my problems..