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Real members of MyAutismTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭
New York, NY

I'm hoping to have him enrolled in something for September whether it's BOCES or other school I want to know how to communicate this to him so he doesn't get upset.

May 3
 · 
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A MyAutismTeam Member

Find an interest that can be a study or vocation training that would be able to have a list of rules, parameters, and objectives that can be celebrated once each milestone is achieved
Visiting Campus, shadowing, volunteering, etc will branch the goal to a SMART accomplishment

Motivate autistic individuals by leveraging their special interests, using visual supports, and breaking goals into small, achievable steps. Employ strategies like the "First/Then" principle (Premack principle) to reward tasks, use clear visual schedules, and celebrate small wins to build confidence. Tailoring motivation to unique strengths ensures engagement rather than pressure.

Here are key strategies to motivate autistic individuals toward their goals:
Leverage Special Interests: Incorporate intense passions into tasks. For example, if they love trains, use train-related examples for math or reading to increase engagement.
Use Visual Supports: Utilize schedules, checklists, timers, and calendars to make abstract goals, time, and tasks tangible. Visuals reduce cognitive load and anxiety.
Break Down Goals (Task Chunking): Deconstruct large or overwhelming goals into small, manageable, actionable steps.
Apply the Premack Principle ("First/Then"): Structure tasks so that a less preferred activity is immediately followed by a preferred one (e.g., "First homework, then screen time").
Create Structured Routines: Implement consistent routines and provide advanced warning for changes to increase comfort and cooperation.
Establish Clear, Achievable Goals: Set "observable" goals that are realistic, such as completing a specific morning routine independently, rather than vague objectives.
Offer Choices: Provide choices within set parameters to give the individual a sense of control and autonomy.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate small successes and use motivators tailored to their interests, which is more effective than generic rewards.
"Prime" for Success: Use priming to familiarize the individual with new activities or environments beforehand to reduce fear and increase comfort.
Ensure Proper Environment: Provide a calm, supportive, and safe environment to reduce stress, which can be a major barrier to motivation

Integrate Special Interests (The LILA Principle):
Use Visual Supports: Utilize visual schedules, checklists, and charts to clarify expectations and reduce anxiety. Visualizing progress makes goals tangible and less daunting.
Build Motivational Momentum: Start with highly preferred or mastered tasks to build confidence before introducing new, more challenging material.
Structure and Routine: Consistent routines help ease transitions to new tasks. Use tools like timers or checklists for long-term project planning.
Errorless Learning & Positive Reinforcement: Focus on teaching tasks correctly y.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11937795/

Self-Set Goals: Autistic Adults Facilitating Their Self-Determination Through Digitally Mediated Social Stories
Self-Set Goals: Autistic Adults Facilitating Their Self-Determination Through Digitally Mediated Social Stories
May 3
MyAutismTeam

It's wonderful that you're thinking ahead and advocating for your son's future! The transition to adulthood can feel urgent, but how you communicate goals matters just as much as the goals themselves.

Here are some tips for communicating enrollment plans without causing upset:

- Use direct, clear language — instead of Show Full Answer

It's wonderful that you're thinking ahead and advocating for your son's future! The transition to adulthood can feel urgent, but how you communicate goals matters just as much as the goals themselves.

Here are some tips for communicating enrollment plans without causing upset:

- Use direct, clear language — instead of hinting at change, say specifically what will happen: "In September, you will start at BOCES. Here is what that will look like."
- Involve him in the decision — let him have a voice in choosing between options where possible, so it feels less like something happening *to* him.
- Use visual supports — a calendar or visual schedule showing the steps toward September can reduce anxiety about the unknown.
- Connect it to his interests — frame enrollment around something he enjoys or wants to achieve, making the goal feel personally meaningful.
- Give plenty of advance notice — surprises are rarely welcome, so start the conversation early and revisit it often. As one MyAutismTeam member wisely shared, learning to go at your child's pace rather than an expected milestone pace can actually lead to better outcomes. That said, gently encouraging independence now sets him up for a stronger future.

It's also worth looping in his current support team or therapist to help craft the conversation in a way that suits his specific communication style.

May 3
A MyAutismTeam Member

Thank you JohnRies.

May 4
A MyAutismTeam Member

September is not a lot of time; and if your son has ADHD as well, then procrastination is likely to be an additional issue. You might have to walk him through it (set up some times with him).

May 4
A MyAutismTeam Member

Thank you BrianBrooks

May 3

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