Maybe it shouldn't happen at all (ABA has a great many detractors), but it certainly shouldn't happen until you can articulate what you hope it will accomplish and you understand what the ABA therapist intends to do to achieve it. In the case of your grandson who is on the "threshold of manhood", it would have to be something he wants (at this stage of his life, his wants are much more important than yours or even those of his parents).

Assuming ABA is something your grandson wants to try, then it needs to be monitored. If there are sympathetic adults he trusts (not necessarily you or his parents), then communication with them should be encouraged. If he is in a romantic relationship, then communication with his partner should also be encouraged. He should also be encouraged to keep a diary while he is in therapy, so he has a better idea of whether or not it's helping. And if he ends up exhausted at the end of most days, then that should be taken as an indication that the therapy is focused on masking instead of more effective use of his natural abilities.

Thank you. Unfortunately none of this was addressed prior age 16. 🥺

I have always wondered how it works for older kids because if the goal is to make someone a) stop doing a behavior or b) start one it seems harder with bigger, older kids. It is a huge time commitment also. It made my son overly tired when he went when he was younger.

I would try it and see how it goes xxxx hugs friend xxxx

Here is what I found in many ABA websites

Age-Based Breakdown

• 6 months – 2 years: Specialized programs like the Early Start Denver Model (ESDM) can begin during infancy or toddlerhood if early developmental signs or high-risk indicators are identified.
• 2 – 6 years: Considered the prime window for Early Intensive Behavioral Intervention (EIBI), typically involving 20 to 40 hours per week to maximize cognitive and language gains.
• 7 – 12 years: Focus shifts toward strengthening school readiness, peer interactions, emotional regulation, and daily independence with fewer weekly hours.
• 13 years and older: Tailored ABA principles continue through adolescence and adulthood to support life skills, vocational training, and social integration.

Key Factors to Keep in Mind

• No strict upper limit: ABA is not just for young children; teens and adults can also benefit from targeted behavioral support.
• Diagnosis-driven: Therapy usually starts immediately following a formal autism spectrum disorder (ASD) evaluation or clinical recommendation from a pediatrician.