Hi all,

My son was placed in a residential setting (group home 2 hours away) when he was 15. Although it was very difficult, he made many improvements over that time. This year he turned 21 and aged out of the school placement. He was placed much closer to me and is in a wonderful group home with a day program.

I know it is difficult, and you must do what is right for you, but after due diligence, if you think a residential setting will help your child, you shouldn't hesitate. The structured environment, the (in our case overwhelmingly loving and caring)staff, and the knowledge that s/he must walk their own path, this being a first step - are positive outcomes.

Stay in close touch, advocate, ask questions and be as helpful as possible to the residential agency.

That's my humble advice. Best of luck to all parents on this journey!

After a year’s worth of fighting, my daughter was finally accepted to New England Center for Children for residential placement. I know a lot of people are against this, but my daughter is hurting herself and she has hurt her ABA therapists as well. She is also on so many different meds, from sleep meds to antipsychotics that it is becoming dangerous to her. On top of all of that they think she has seizure activity going on as well.
We have visited the facility and the home she will be going to, and this is a house I would like to live in, in a great neighborhood across from a county club. This entire place is custom done with instructions outside every room for every child, with the times they do things and what they do, what they eat and anything else you can think of. They have people on staff 24hrs a day 7 days a week, and the school is 15 mins away that they spend most of their time at with a gym and a pool and transitional rooms like Dr and Dentist offices to get them used to be in these places without the trauma. They also have their own on staff Dr’s and they work with Children’s hospital so the care is top notch
Although it is going to be hard to let her go, and not be able to see her through the adjustment period other than through mirrored glass, it is the best thing for her. They hope that after a year maybe two she can transition back into our home and be able to happily deal with society. The ultimate goal is to get her back home. Once the transition period is over we can go there for dinner, and then also take her home for the weekends. It is a very tough situation, but she is going to get the help and care she needs to have a better life in the future.

If your motherly instinct tells you that you want your child at home, there are options. www.autismtreatmentcenter.org. If not for the Son-Rise program our son would be institutionalized. As it is, he has made so much progress in one year that he is no longer aggressive and community supports are now in place.It has been a tough road since he still requires a great deal of care and our family requires support to keep him in the home. But, all things are possible. It all depends on you as a mother, what you want and where you want your child to be in 10 years. As it is, my son no longer requires medication to control aggression and hyperactivity, he simply does not need it and is flourishing in the non-distracting environment full of the love of family and special friends right in our own home. I'm not saying anything negative about these residential programs. All I'm saying is that you have options and should follow your heart.

Sorry so late to this. Our son, 9 yrs old, has been in a residential program for 2 yrs. The progress is slow, but evident. We have a good relationship with all involved. How are things going? Happy to help in any way.

see my reply to drewsparents :-)