Mike can't seems to hold a job due to his AS, someone will inturrupt his routine, or say the wrong thing, or place too much pressure on him and he just looses it, either in anger from fustration, or he starts shutting down inside himself, and when he's in a lowered communication level, inputs and outputs are not there, he doesn't seem to hear, and can't seem to speak, like reach outside himself. how does one deal with these types of things, he had no help growing up, raised by a too practical… read more
My wife is an Aspie and also had difficulty holding down jobs for most of her life until about 3 years ago when she had been giving talks about all of the strategies she learned to manage her differences. She decided to tell her boss exactly what she needed to be successful. She spent a good deal of time identifying what she needed and determining how it could be provided in the work environment and then had a long talk with the boss explaining that she had AS and why she behaves the way she does. Then she gave him a list of what she needed and as a result she has held this job longer than any job before. She asked for things like: no sarcasm, be sure you have my attention before asking me to do something by calling me by name, I will sometimes need to disappear to the bathroom for a short while to manage a sensory overload, I need a routine and some warning of interruptions to that routine, please check with me to see if I am able handle another thing on the plate before just asking me to do more, what to do if I shut down. Since AS is considered a disability, it is covered by the ADA and employers need to be making accommodations, but they can't do that effectively if they don't know what to do.
As an ASD adult, I can say that the transition is difficult but not undoable. I had a rough time of independent living for a decade before I really began to adjust.
I tell my son that his ASD is the reason behind many of his behaviors, but it isn't an excuse to be inappropriate or rude. Because he is old enough to realize what inappropriate is, we are spending alot of time teaching coping, communication and other social strategies. We all need the tools to learn how to navigate through the world, those with ASD just need alot more lessons and maybe some index cards with notes.
Thanks guys @A MyAutismTeam Member, @A MyAutismTeam Member, we're doing good, Mikes bad days are farther apart lately, partly due to my therapy (helps me be patient so I can see what's up)but still no progress in the job world, or in the world at all, he stays home, will only venture to see one friend, and unless I'm able to go too, it's a don't force me into the world.
I don't have an answer but have asked the question many many times. Doctors assure me that not only can he get through college if he CAN or chooses to, but there are tons of great options... as far as living arrangements. But often I lay at night wondering - will he ever be able to live alone? And now, I know, even if he can't, I will always manage. So hang in there! :D