I never tell a perspective employer about my son and how he affects my work until I've been offered the job. We are not required to disclose this and many employers will discriminate.

Once you've been offered the job, then you should request the time off and assure them that you will do everything you can to minimize the missed time. How they respond will give you a lot of information about whether you want to accept the job.

The Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) requires that employers with 50 or more employees grant up-to 12 weeks of leave to employees with a qualified medical conditions, for birth/adoption, or to care for a family member with a serious condition. Our Autistic children make us qualified. Essentially an employer is required to give you the leave without losing benefits. I don't use all this leave each year and I don't use it all it once. But I use this leave for these types of things.

When I'm at work, I try to do a great job so my employer never complains that I miss this additional time (about 80-160 hours) year after year. Over the last few years, I was able to negotiate a flexible schedule so I didn't miss as much work. But I wouldn't try that at first. Prove yourself first.

@edililla - sounds like this is a great company. I hope you love it!

JIll, this is great. I didn't even think about FMLA applying here. I only used that to cover maternity leaves. My last job was very flexible and I had just earned my fourth week of vacation when I got laid off, so I never really went over my alloted time off. I'm not sure the new company is large enough for FMLA to apply, though. I am going through a recruiter, so I am hoping that she will be able to negotiate this better than I can. I just always hated when someone new started working at my old jobs just to take a bunch of time off. I guess I shouldn't have judged, I never knew their stories.
I am starting as a freelance person on Wed., so I should be able to get a better feel about the people and their attitudes. They seem flexible, though. Half the company is located in Canada and most employees work from home at least some of the time. I've been out of work for almost a year (except for some scattered jobs here and there) and the money at this place is supposed to be better than what I used to make, which I didn't expect to be able to find. I am trying not to get my hopes up, but this could be good for me, especially if I can work from home. That would cut at least two hours off the time the kids spend at the babysitter and give me time to see my kids during the week. I am going to miss being home with them.

I have actually told both of my last two employers before being hired about the situation I have with my kids, and it did not affect my job either time. I do a great job when I work, and I go above and beyond without them asking, so when I tell them I have to take time off they are good about it. I did not take any time off during my probation period with either of them so I did not really give them an excuse, plus I think employers know now they cannnot discriminate now because they will get in trouble.

I also think that most times emplyers think that if you have chs that can be difficult, and we can deal with it, means we will not get flustered at work when things get tough. I think it shows them how tough and versitile we can be.