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Real members of MyAutismTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭
Moultonborough, NH

It seems to me that communities related to autism (MyAutismTeam included), events that are focused on autism and social-media activity on autism are all dominated by women / moms. It's rare that I go to an autism-related event with my wife and find another dad there. I know there are a lot of dads actively working with their kids and being apart of their children's lives--maybe they're not as public as the moms? (This question isn't meant to offend any dads.) But the numbers don't lie (as far as… read more

November 3, 2012
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Answer Summary

Members explored why fathers appear less visible in autism community spaces, with many agreeing that traditional gender roles place mothers in... Read more

Members explored why fathers appear less visible in autism community spaces, with many agreeing that traditional gender roles place mothers in primary caregiving positions where they encounter more direct challenges and naturally seek outside support and connection. Several members shared that many fathers cope differently, whether through a DIY mindset that resists asking for help, discomfort with crowds and unfamiliar social settings (sometimes tied to their own neurodivergent traits), work demands that keep them from daytime events, or difficulty accepting their child's diagnosis. A recurring theme was that fathers love their children just as fiercely and are actively involved behind the scenes, but cultural expectations, economic pressures, and sometimes unwelcoming reception from predominantly female spaces can push men to handle struggles more privately rather than join public communities.

A MyAutismTeam Member

I think there are women who are super-frustrated with their exes (fairly or unfairly) and it kind of spills over into their general opinion of men. Raising a SN child is so stressful, and it's unfortunately easy to scapegoat the father, especially if he is no longer in the picture on a daily basis. It's really hard to take a step back and recognize that it is the situation one finds frustrating and not so much the person.

November 5, 2012
A MyAutismTeam Member

I think men tend to be more internal and private about their feelings in general anyways, so naturally this would be prevalent in cases of fathers of children with Autism? That would be my guess. This, and traditionally women tend to have more interactive hours with children, especially in those years under five, so they are going to get the full blow of everything- doctor appointments, social fallout from other moms, difficulty with the schools. It's not that dad's don't experience these things too, but they are in the minority. It would be appreciated I'm sure if they could identify on the same level, but I don't think that most of them do. Some are in denial, true, and some have a more difficult time, but I think proximity is a major factor here. Mom's are just "there: more, so you're going to see them "here" more too.

November 4, 2012
A MyAutismTeam Member

beautifully put! I ask myself that same question a lot. I love my husband dearly but I do see him as held back/reserved about anything autism related. Maybe it's a denial thing?? I wish I knew that answer, it my help me understand my own husband & his thoughts/feelings. Thank you for being so open on this matter. It was a beautifully put question!

November 5, 2012
A MyAutismTeam Member

I agree denial, maybe self pride.

November 4, 2012
A MyAutismTeam Member

most men are in denial

November 3, 2012

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