After we found out that our only son had Autism, we made the hard decision to stop with him. We wanted to be able to focus on him and get all his needs met. My husbands family is mostly boys and all the grandchildren are boys, 9 out of 10 chances would be we would have another boy and a huge possibility that that one as well would be on the spectrum. I knew myself well enough to know that I would not be able to handle more than Mack.

I think its more about how well you and your husband are able to raise your child with Autism.... and possibly a second child as well. Do you have time and energy and patience and unconditional love? If you think you have the means to do it and you want to do it, then its all good.

I agree with everyone. I have been wondering how people make this very decision?
My daughter is thinking about another child too. Her husband has social problems himself, and he does not believe in spending money for therapy...and he does not help with their 2 yr old daughter who is on the spectrum. They were both at my house yesterday arguing about who was going to change her diaper!!
I would love to have another grandchild but ...in their situation.. I would probably tell them they need to pray, research, and put the needs of their child first before they have any more.
Does this sound harsh for them?

I don't know if this will help, but our son, Barrett, who has Asperger's, is now 22. We are a blended family with 6 kids. I couldn't imagine the family without him, and we often say that if what he has is a disability, then more folks should have it. He does more to support his non-presenting sibs than the reverse! I guess my point is that there is no way to predict what a child will be like, with a disorder or without. It's always, like Martin says, a crap shoot. The benefits of the love a child can bring to your life are usually greater than the difficulties of raising him.

This is such a personal and individual question and journey. My second son was about 3 months old when my older son's quirks started to emerge (he was 2.5 at the time), and so special needs were not even on our radar when I got pregnant. Now, I very much do want a third child, simply becauseI have always wanted 3 children. That is kind of how we are approaching it-- is there room for another child in our life, regardless of who that child becomes? Right now, there is not, but we have kind of agreed to think about it again in another year. A lot of that is because we want to see how our things unfold with our oldest and what kind of battles we face when he starts elementary school.