my son is 13 and unfortunately, i wasn't able to control it. It eventually got to the point where 911 had to be called and he was admitted to an inpatient facility for 10 days. That was the hardest night of my entire life but the best thing that happened for him. He hasn't gotten aggressive since he was discharged, we ended up with a great therapist and it opened so many doors to so many resources that i never would have known about. It's been 4 month since he was released and he still gets angry but not aggressive. I hope you find what works for you!
cheese is okay as is, the GF/CF things I buy are Yoplait (GF), cereals, I buy Chex and Coco Pebbles (not fruity pebbles because of the dyes), ice cream I buy lactose free (very few brands have this) if you can't do that, choose ice cream without cookie stuff or process foods in it ... stick with ice cream and fruit ... Turkey hill makes a good Moose Tracks that my son loves; I buy Almond milk for my son now, no regular (skim, 1%, 2%, etc) anymore. The other foods you serve must be more in whole foods meat (without pre-seasoning ... add your own); potatoes whole or buy Betty Crocker instant flakes; veggies (they say frozen or fresh, but I've given my son canned before and haven't seen difference ... they say it's something in the can - white lining, bad.) Main thing is stay away from processed stuff ... NO pasta unless it's gluten free or make your own (recipes online - search "gluten free ..." whatever)
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I find that addressing the issue while in the middle of a "tantrum" or aggressive outburst only makes things worse. When things get bad; I very calmly remind him that things are going to be ok; we will get through this together; he is not alone and I am right by his side. I recognize how angry he is aloud by simply stating, "I know you are very angry, and I am going to help you; I will always be here to help you." (over and over again) Eventually, he hears me and slowly calms down. Then we must do a totally different calm activity before we are able to backtrack and address the fact that he lost control and there were other ways to respond. It takes a lot of patience!!
I dont know what to do for my son. he breaks everything in sight. windows, entire walls, our whole house, the kids toys. we own nothing cuz of it. hes violent... we are about to have to give up and put him in a home and that tears me apart. hes 10 next month and on resperidone and an adhd medicine and nothing works. his schools hate him no matter how many times we move... hes non verbal and so severe, im sure he has other issues but hes too severe to diagnose them. its so hard. life is so hard. its one thing that our lifes and family revolve around him but we cant even leave our house. my other kids need a better life. no parent should ever have to lose their child. it isnt right :( we fought all this time and it seems for nothing in the end.
liquid proazc every night in dose based on his weight and put into his drink cup such as soda or fruit juice. It works for him and last night into next full day too, See child psychiatrist to get prescription and counseling with him; he has ADHD, PDD and other issues related to picky eating and sensory integration (fussy about smells, how clothes feel, loud noises, etc.) He is also on Vyvanese for ADHD a pill we break up and put its powder into milk or juice cup before he attends school and he drinks it up not knowing anything due to lack of smell/taste/etc. We just say helps him do great in school and every kid or adult has a drink am before they go to school, work or start the day. We do not give it to him on weekends, summer month no school or days off from school since it affects his eating (not hungry) so he may eat breakfast pre-med and then eat little until at night late (before bedtime). I was very anti-meds for a long time but it works for my child in addition to behavior positive reinforcement of good and discussion about bad. Hope you try things that work too