Honesty is always the best policy. We always told our son that his brain reacts differently than others. We were explaining to our younger son about his older brother being autistic and being "different" and he said to us, "I don't think he's different. I think he's just my brother." Sweetest thing ever. Wish everyone felt like that.

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Before Catherine was diagnosed... Jenna had heard the terms a lot because I work with children on the spectrum. One summer while we were at b&n she picked out the book "Mockingbird" (a kids chapter book, she's 10) she read it and made the comparison between the girl in the book and Catherine. Jenna was actually more understanding of Catherine after the official diagnosis and referred to the book.

I told my other two children that just as they needed help in say Math and have a tutor, that their brother Nate needs help with other things; social situations. I ask them to be patient with Nate and to help him by saying, "The rule is... at this place you need to sing Happy Birthday with the other kids and smile.." The siblings came to recognize autism in other children and are very patient and helpful to them in middle and high school. :) Don't worry.

Funny my older son never questioned the way his brother was until he himself was also diagnosed. Then the questions flooded out. We have raised our boys to except everyone's differences so his questions have been more self seeking than searching for an explanation about his brother. But to answer your question we are not specific until they need specifics. We approached it by everyone is different no person better nor worse. We all have obsticales to conquer. For every weakness we discuss we discuss the strength. For example my middle son (more severe)has many learning difficulties but has all the patience in the world, while my older son absorbs everything like a sponge but has absolutely no patience at all.
My youngest son (NT) has only known autism as he lives it through his brothers everyday. When he started Kindergarten this year he found himself in a class with a non diagnosed little girl who has since been diagnosed. He immediately became friends with this little girl. Helping her with everything. At the first conference his teacher told me how amazed she was with how he stood by her and was never phased by anything she did. Up until that point I did not know that his best friend was on the spectrum. He talked about her as if she was like every other Kindergartener. At this conference the teacher was telling me about some of this little girl's behaviors and how my son was always by her side. It became evident just how severe the little girl was on the spectrum. So that night I started questioning my son about his friend and it was quickly apparent that he thought the things she did were just normal (many he has experienced at home) He did view her as any other child. They are still friends and my son has taught many of his classmates how to be friends to other's who aren't quite like everyone else. We have not taught him about the ins and outs of Autism. He knows it is a family cause that we support. Beyond that we have just raised our boys to treat everyone as you wish to be treated and to help when needed. It really doesn't matter what the disability is just that we are all different and need to be treated fairly.