We weren't diagnosed until 11. I bought the book "All Cats Have Aspergers" and then asked her if any of it sounded like her. It was a great way to open dialogue since she loved the cute photos. So she knows but is just starting to identify with it at 12. At first it was as if I told her

This is really hard. Our middle son was diagnosed PDD NOS when he was almost 3. He was in a special ed preschool/ kindergarten program and then mainstreamed. In fourth grade his social issues started becoming much worse, and we hauled him off to neurologists & behavioral specialists (by this time, our youngest was diagnosed with autism). He was old enough to have some idea of what was going on, so we told him we were looking for help for him. Finally got a diagnosis of social anxiety disorder, for which he was prescribed meds and therapy. Since he was about 10 when we went through all this, he was included in the discussion with the doctors. He knew he was "different" and struggling.

During middle/high school years, he was very resistant to talking about his social issues, and pretty much created his own strategies for coping. However, he participated in his IEP conferences and made his preferences known for learning environments, etc. His biggest challenge was his inability to self-advocate.

I think explaining and then backing off and offering to answer questions may be the best start. Do you have a psychiatrist or behavioral pediatrician who can talk to your child about their diagnosis and what it means? I think hearing it from a third party non-family member went down much better with our son.

I've been honest with my six year old. It is my opportunity to let him know that he is different and different is good - it is boring to be like everyone else! You do not need to go into the details until later if you don't think that he will understand. I also want my son to understand because I talk about it to his older sister so that she will also understand him better and not get so frustrated.

Good luck. The right time is the time that you decide to tell.

I told my 9 year old son. I told him his asd is like a minor disability but can be manageable. I told him is like Bella thorne who had difficulty reading And writing but because she kept trying. She kept doing good. She managed her disability. I use some stars as examples to explain his disability. He is happy that he will be able to managed it but he needs to keep trying And listen.

Thank you everyone for your responses. We went to the library yesterday and got the "All Cats Have Asperger's" book (she LOVES cats)! and some others designed for children and got her little sister one that explains it for siblings in story form. Were going to read them together tonight. I've been wanting to tell her and after reading the feedback it really made me feel better about it. I will update how it goes!