I understand what you are saying. You have to put so much effort into them, that you really don't have any time to be yourself any more. You are "the mother of" now. I also feel I had to put some of my dreams for her on hold as well. Not that she isn't an awesome kid, because she is. She just isn't the kid I thought she was going to be, so I had to change my expectations to fit her. That isn't always easy or smooth.

Yes. A loss of self, identity, losses all over the place. It is an ongoing process that unfortunately reshapes your entire life. It took me a while to realize that who I once was will never be again... but please remember that it is only because of the love you have for your child. After 5 years I still feel a heavy sadness in my chest for the losses I have endured and for the realities I live everyday... yet wish I didn't have to live them. I pray that someday I will have an acceptance of what is and I will not have to feel all of the losses anymore. Haven't reached that stage yet.

I think we all do and it is a normal part of the process. You have to not only worry about your children and what they need but also spend most of your time either caring for them or at appointments that you have little time for yourself.

All you can really do is take time for yourself when you can, and I know there is very little of it and there is very little out there for help unless you have family and friends that actually understand. You have to remember that you put them here and it is your job to make sure they get what they need. Your life must come second to theirs and you just have to be able to live with it.

yes

never really thought about it i guess cause i have put them first.