I do not have enough space here to say everything I want to so I will make it as brief and easy as I can. The number one thing I always say is plan ahead and be prepared. Make a list of everything you need but highlight the most important things that need to be addressed. Don't go in looking for a fight and being aggressive you want them on your side. Make sure you bring up examples of your and your child's struggles make it personal.

Remember you do not have to sign the IEP if you do not agree with something. Don't ask for things you don't really need. What I mean is that if your child is higher functioning don't ask for extra that a child at a lower level would need it is overkill and they know it and they will get defensive.

If you think their evaluations don't make sense and you need more than they are offering get an outside evaluation and have another meeting.

I could go on but those are the basics to me.

As the parent, your primary job during the IEP meeting is to advocate for your child's educational needs. No one knows your child better than you do; good educators understand this and expect your active participation in the meeting. Your first IEP meeting may be a little overwhelming, but subsequent meetings will get easier as you become familiar with the process, as well as the other team members. The more the IEP team members get to know you and your child, the more you will begin to feel respected as a true member of the team.

Don't be afraid to speak up if you think there's a better solution/approach to a problem, particularly if there's a behavior plan. Make suggestions based on what has been successful at home. If they want to cut a service and you believe your child still needs it, tell them. The meetings happen annually, unless an update is needed during the school year. In the meantime, make sure to bring any issues to the attention of the resource teacher, autism specialist, or whomever is responsible for implementing any modifications your child may need. We are a month and a half into 4th grade, and I have already met with my son's resource teacher multiple times to discuss issues with his school work! Hopefully, there are some great teachers at your son's school who'll be receptive to your questions and concerns, and will be more than happy to work with you in helping your child succeed.

Hope this helps! Good luck : )

I would add if its not too late to make sure that the evaluations have concrete recommendations. If they don't have them, make sure your bring that up at the meeting, because they are required to reference the child's strengths and weaknesses and include recommendations. We had a much more difficult time than we should have as a result of very vague evaluations, and ended up demanding that the school pay for an independent evaluation.

Otherwise, I would say don't be afraid to tell it like it is. You know more about your child and your child's needs than you may get credit for, don't just accept that they know what's best more than you do. And I believe that you can do that without poisoning your relationship. Don't try to please the team, they should be professional enough that if you are reasonable but hold them to task that it won't damage the relationship. You are there for your child, not for you, and definitely not for the IEP team.

If you don't feel feel comfortable speaking up you need to bring someone with you that will look at yoyr list of wants/needs for your child and will push to get tgem. Make a list.