Some may disagree, but here is what worked for me: Be totally prepared. Take control of the IEP meeting, don't just sit back and take what they say as fact. You present the facts. You tell other participants when it is their turn to speak. Know your rights. Get copies of ALL evaluations and assessments prior to the meeting and prepare a bound notebook for every participant. If they tell you they can't get you copies of the assessments before the meeting, then tell them they will have to reschedule it. Put your demands and rationale into clear, logical written words in the booklets. Use the assessments to prove what your child needs. Know what you want, be sure it is necessary and appropriate for your child, and don't back down. Be business-like and don't get emotional. You are the Chairman of the Board of what your child needs. Act like one.
Been there, done that, and it always worked to the benefit of my autistic children.

The best thing you can do is stick to what you want to say, don't let them try to fob you off with something you're not happy with. You know what your child needs better than anyone else :)

I've only been to a handful of IEP meetings. Some good things to remember are that You are a member of the team. Ask questions as often as you need to. Don't be afraid to politely interrupt as needed. If they are using school lingo ~ ask them to explain. Take Notes. If they don't identify themselves ~ ask them to do a quick intro around the table.

If they are suggesting things that you don't think will work for your child ~ speak up, you are the one with the best knowledge. Keep in mind that the IEP needs to be written for where your child is right now ~ not where they want him to be. My son's school was writing a goal that he would write down all of his assignments in his notebook every day. I told them that isn't going to happen ~ what can we put in place in lieu of this ?

Don't let them intimidate you ~

Our experience is that even a well meaning team spends a lot of time telling us good things and describing evaluations. This leaves little time for written goals. I would be polite and listen as much as possible but keep an eye on the time so that you have time to discuss the important part which is the written measurable goals. Most schools like to set goals that they know they can make and put a lot of prompting and support in the IEP. with all of the prompting, the kid might already have the skill. Be polite and positive but if something is important, do not be talked out of it. Negotiate.

Make sure you've every copy of all the paperwork it comes in handy. I've every paper on my son who is 43 years old. I could paper a room. Yes it did come in use to get services.. It's you right to have everything and get rid of anything that is the record if necessary.

Harriet@