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Is It Me Or Is It Him?
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭

Presume you have a relationship with someone diagnosed on the Autism Spectrum, I would appreciate as objective answers as possible please. I want to know if I am the only one who has these feelings.

Do you consider your Autistic child to be different in a special way that gives or has given them a unique perspective on life, that they have something special to offer the world?

Do you feel your child possesses skills that are advanced above typical children and if so what are they?

Do you… read more

posted May 24, 2016
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A MyAutismTeam Member

When my son was diagnosed with autism at age 6, I racked my brain trying to pin down where it could have come from. Was there anyone in my family or his father's family that could have passed this gene on. Although I noticed signs at an earlier age, I continued to work with him not knowing what the problem was. For a little while, my heart ache for him because I felt it wasn't fair to him not to have what some of us deem a normal life. But I never stopped pouring my energy into him. I had a lot of support from friends and family. I did everything to provide as much normalcy as possible. He's 24 now and I could never be more proud. Now, just as I read the posts on this site, I reflect on conversation from my friends who have "normal " children. The issues that they have such as them doing time in jail for murder, being on probation, serving time for armed robbery, smoking Marijuana, suspended licence. My son has never been in trouble. We have a peaceful life. So, be grateful that you have never had to go through these technical issues because when you think about it, you are truly blessed. I sure am.

posted May 25, 2016
A MyAutismTeam Member

"Do you consider your Autistic child to be different in a special way that gives or has given them a unique perspective on life, that they have something special to offer the world?"

No, she doesn't a special insight on the world. I've heard that before and it's kind of becoming a platitude to me. She doesn't make friends easily and I wonder if any kid would ever come to our house to play with her. Now there's "play dates" because kids aren't allowed to go out on their own because there's so much fear. Makes my childhood almost look like paradise by comparison.

"Do you feel as if your own struggles and frustrations are less related to your child but more related to the expectations placed on your child from other sources such as school, family members, the public or even yourself?"

The schools haven't been that effective so they aren't pushing her much. Our family is spread out so they rarely see her. A lot of people know someone who is autistic which is the best sort of "advertising" but even then if your kid's kind of autism doesn't match what they have seen they may not understand.

posted May 26, 2016
A MyAutismTeam Member

Kiddo certainly has a lot to offer. He's kind and caring. He never lies. He has taught me a lot.

My stress with him might come a bit from expectations from school, society, etc, but not most. Sure, things would be a bit easier if the world were more accepting. But it's not really a matter of not conforming. Many of his behaviors and problems are unhealthy. Fixations and anxiety seem to be the worst. He can't escape it.

It's more stressful to help him through those things than to face judgement.

posted May 26, 2016
A MyAutismTeam Member

My son has a lot to give this world, however its difficult when social skills are a conflict, His and will always be special not because his Autistic but because of how far he has gone, His 19 yrs old has done more then a non autistic individual his age. I struggled to have him fit in and be what the world wants my son to be, I would get embarrassed at times always trying to cover his odd behavior, I would feel guilty I had him so it's either my fault or my husband, so many years trying to find who's fault it was, so many years not talking about his diagnosis, I was a full of raging emotions very sensitive cried at people's odd looks at my son got furious. How I didn't wind up hospitalize in a mental hospital is thru the grace of God. For some reason I was in mourning, people would say they understood what I was going thru and it just infuriated me, I would ask myself how can they understand me when they don't have an autistic child. They don't know what we go thru. Fed up with this constant response I finally exploded at my poor friend and said ( how the hell do u understand me ) u don't know what I go thru u just can say u understand me unless u are me. Needless to say me almost losing my friend is what woke me up, She yelled back at me your son is alive why are you in mourning, I needed a reality check, a wake up call.. I got the medical help I needed and realize I have my son his alive and the hell with this, we worked on social ques we constantly give our son reminders of proper and inproper behaviors. And if he forgets so what his not in this world to please everyone. Yes we have struggles but the difference now is I'm ok with it, I'm not obsessed with finding who's fault is it my son has Autism. Once u learn to let go the guilt and mourning your life takes a different turn the cloud I felt was always above me vanishes and u learn to enjoy life..

posted May 24, 2016
A MyAutismTeam Member

We're are opening up our home to higher grades 6-12. For a homeschool co op. Because our son can't be taught mainstream. We have to hire a teacher why not invite other families to have their own contract with that person or persons. I know our son isn't the only one. I know the best job for my son.. But he has no attention span. He could easily create video games .. Because that is where is mindset goes for any thing. Even if he only does it part time.. What's better for an asd person or anyone to get paid doing what you love to do.💙

posted June 21, 2016

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