Personally I think that's a stage any loving parent of a child with special needs goes through. If not, I certainly did and still do often ( and I know I will probably always wonder if I could do more) but I go to bed every night exhausted knowing no excuses is the motto we live by. Don't give up... and you'll always know you give your all every single day. One day at a time ;)

I think, honestly, I think, that the failure thoughts enter my mind daily. I get by day after day by thinking every night when my head hits the pillow, and the eyes start to close, that everything I thought, chose, or might have done were done to the best of my ability, and always with his best interests at heart. I feel that your role , like my role with the gift for a child I got, has to be, should be, and always will be that of an advocate, and not just any advocate, an advocate that your child needs, and surely deserves. I don"t think you can fail. When you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, can you say, "there is someone who always has my child at heart, and does his or her best for my child everyday', I think if you can do that at least once, then you are already a winner, and your child will reap the benefits of your effort, either right on, or misguided, Just keep making it.

Yep, I cried and still cry so much. It didn't help having family members point the finger at you. But if your a single mom like me no one will be there to wipe those wounds. At the end of the day, you are doing the best that you can with the things Jesus has given you. If your child is fed, clothed, not hurt! GO YOU!!! You have to keep it moving honey!! Remember it's ok to cry. But when you feel like you've failed your kids look at the local news at these other mothers leaving there kids in hot cars and murdering them. So your a bad ass!!

I have often and still feel as if I'm failing. I always feel as if I'm swimming upstream.We just got back from a week at the beach, and Ian was great around his brother's, but yesterday when it was just me and mom, he started bullying us again. If he keeps this up, we won't be able to bring him home. It kooks like my oldest son David is going back into the Navy. I will NOT BE BEATEN ON OR BULLIED ANYMORE. If he screws this up, it won't be because I didn't try. I hate to be away from him, but he is a foot taller and weighs 50pounds more than me.
When he was so young and they tested him every 3 weeks or so, and called "we have an answer" then call back and were wrong. We were given @5 diagnosed that he would be in a wheelchair by age 10, and dead by 12-thanks to God they were wrong. Now it is just Ian Syndrome. We quit testing and just take it a day at a time.
Praying for you all.
Beth Ann Janaky

It doesn't matter what you do with your children disability or "normal" children you do the best you know how with what you got anf some part of you will always wonder if you could of done better or something different if that would of helped or changed the out come. HUGS TO US ALL.