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He isolates himself in his room from the time he gets home from school to the time he goes to bed. He has no friends, and no social life. My son is also 6'4" and 300 pounds. I once removed the gaming computer from his room when he was gone, but when he came home and found out that I hid it, he had a MAJOR meltdown... he threw things and threatened to destroy my computer. He would never physcially harm me -- I'm the only connection he really has to the outside world.... he's biggest… read more
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Members shared deeply personal experiences about adult children who spend most of their time gaming and struggling with isolation, with many... Read more
I understand it is completely frustrating to have them stop playing the video games. I try to keep my child on screen time limits. If your son is anything like mine he manipulates me into letting him play longer. I have heard that it turns on dopamine in the Neuotransmitter part of the brain. Therefore it is now an addiction. Like most addictions the routine or habit needs to be changed. Like anything else they must learn that anything in excess is bad. You must learn to experience things in moderation. I hope this helps.
@A MyAutismTeam Member Beautifully said. Thank you for your encouragement. I'm copying this and showing it to my son to give him hope. The professors at CSUN have so many students (about 300 each) -- they don't bother to give special attention to just one student... especially one with a disability. The college has a disability office, but it's more for the lower functioning kids. I hope Adam becomes somebody's boss one day, so he can take care of his old mama! :)
@A MyAutismTeam Member, I don't know your family dynamics but if your son is completely dependent on you financially, you've have a lot of leverage over him. If he cannot or will not contribute financially he could at least pull his own weight with household chores. I've read that fewer young people now due summer jobs and one article blamed longer school years but I'm skeptical that's true for most of them.
How will he function in college with classes? Will he live at home or on campus? In any case, I assume he going to need some money unless your family is fairly well off. Even student loans can be hard to pay back so any money helps plus working crappy summer jobs makes you appreciate the need to get a better job as well as contributes to a work ethic that your son lacks.
My Mom handled most of the household stuff so I was pretty lazy and my Dad really never learned to cook anything even after she died. Most people are lazy unless they are pushed to contribute- that's human nature. I did work during the summers when I was in college but I didn't work in college as hard as I could and got stuck working in some crappy jobs after college. Things have changed so that it's not a big deal if an adult child lives at home but I hated it back in the day because my Mom was great at nagging.
You might want to show your son your bills if doesn't know the costs involved and have him do some work as the eldest child he should set an example. You could remind him he is an adult and if wants to be treated as such he needs to follow the house rules or you could evict him under Canadian law, http://www.justanswer.com/canada-law/5a3v4-evic.... You may want to take it that far but it might freak him out enough to do some work in order have some fun as well.
Unfortunately I have no good answer for you. My son did the same thing, except he did have a couple of guys who would come over and hang out with him after school, and of course video gaming was what they did. The problem was, after graduation, their lives moved on, but my sons' life never has. The year after he graduated, we moved to a new state, it's been 6 years and he still has no real friends. He is 25 and all he does is hang out in his room, playing video games, watching movies, and reading anime', he has no life & he has no desire for a life. He has been on a PUNS list for 5 years, it's like a numbers lottery, for independent living. When they draw his number he'll go in to a new living environment, that he has no desire to do, however, it is a necessity as no one lives forever. I have come to the conclusion there are no good answers, there are no magic solutions, if my son is happy, then that's a plus, he has such a lonely life and it breaks my heart to know there's really nothing I can do to change it.
Thank you @A MyAutismTeam Member! I wish our colleges here in the Los Angeles area worked that way.... There are over 40,000 students that go to CSUN, and the advisors don't care what the professors are like and if they're suitable to teach children on the sprectrum. Most kids with Asperger's don't succeed at 4-year colleges out here.... especially CSUN. We need to find a smaller college for Adam. Yes, Adam is the same way as your daughter. He hates group work and would rather be alone.
God bless you!
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