Oh honey, I relate so much and I have tried to discuss this on here and you may hear some ignorant and cold responses...I sure did so I dont want you to let that upset you...its the minority, but most will give great support. First off, whoever said for him to go live with someone else...screw that person. People who have done it will say something different, but this is my experience. My son is 13 and bigger and stronger then me and we are still kickin it like besties:) His aggression can be just like you stated, but Im still standing strong! There are still many things you can do and try...NEVER stop trying, you got this! People talk about "trained" people...thats your child that you know best, that you love and you protect and no one is trained on individuals. Speak to different people first off both professionally and personally. My son has come a loooong way and he is more severe and non verbal. My love and patience has moved mountains. You need to pay attention to all his triggers and calmers. Start a weekly spreadsheet with the days and hours with columns for calmers, triggers, behaviors (both of yours). Within a few weeks after you look at everything you will be able to connect so many dots. By 11 we turned to risperdone and it did wonders for his anxiety which in turn helped the aggression. It is a constant process of elimination and the spreadsheet gives you a starting point. If we have to go to an appt other then a sick/well visit, me and husband both go. When I was meeting with all different specialists I would tell then I do the initial consultation alone to discuss everything then they can briefly meet with him next appt. If they need to see him as well my husband will take him out to car after his part is done. I dont think any child should sit through appts or IEPs and hear those things discussed. Get someone to go with you. Remember YOU run the show. Get appropriate bloodwork done this can help to distinguish gutt issues that affect his brain known as "gutt to brain" sensory issues will only be picked up on by you watching and looking and listening closely. People in stores, friends, doctors...whoever, I dont care what they think of me, my sons anxiety and not becoming aggressive is number one. Asking him questions set him off so I immediately address that, low voices, no personal spaces etc...speak for him, this will decrease massively your public experiences. I am his main go to as well, its because they feel safe with us and know we wont hurt them. Something I didnt realize when he was 7 but did shortly after was that "no" and "stop" were trigger words and so was my anxiety and energy when it would happen. I have so much to share with you that cant fit. You can put your email on my page so we can talk in more detail and without judgement:) you got this WarriorMom and I have your back:)

@A MyAutismTeam Member oh my goodness, we rely on his tablet SO MUCH! Distraction helps a lot for sure. I try not to think about at all studies out there about limiting screen time and just try to be conscientious about what he watches. We carry tablet, playdoh, legos, art supplies, snacks...still. Sometimes he just gets so angry! I am starting to track triggers though. If I can get that distraction tool out before hand I might have better results :)

Mentioned Users

A MyAutis...

Can you distract him with a favorite toy or a phone or tablet? I have to distract my son when he starts getting riled up from waiting at dr's and such.

Thank you @A MyAutismTeam Member, I am right there with you. I am now insisting on pre-appointments without him. I need to figure out a solution for when he has to be present as I dont have anyone else to go with me. It’s infuriating! I hope your appointment on Monday goes well!

Mentioned Users

A MyAutis...

Btw, it didn't change him into a zombie...he is still sweet as can be, my little angel. If I gave him too high of a does, then he would become zombie-like. Just take it slow, 8-10 days on a fixed amount, and increase as needed at that point. Increased appetite is a very common side effect.