My 14 yr old was just diagnosed 3 years ago w aspergers. Now that he’s in puberty the social is really a problem. They have switched his meds but I’m still trying to get him out around people. He would prefer to stay home and literally will not get ready to go anywhere. I take things away like no video games just to get him out of house. It doesn’t matter he will sit for an hour or more just not getting ready. I can make him or dress him myself and yell at him but I’m trying to see who can hold… read more
Sounds exactly like my 14 yo daughter. The thing that has changed all of our lives dramatically is cbd oil. She will go to school now. She goes to social functions...church, youth group, family dinners... where before it was a toss up whether she would go even to her favorite restaurant. It's not perfect, but it's world's better than it was before she started taking the cbd.
I have Aspergers. When I was fourteen we had AOL. Strangers were my friends. I couldn't find anyone besides people on the net who would understand me. So maybe that's why? Also, being at home is safe. You don't have to deal with situations. Being out in public is still uncomfortable to me. I don't like people looking at me. I don't like the chatter of people at restaurants and schools were always MUCH too loud for me. But take that TECH enthusiasm and ask your child to do something with it. I think the above comment was great. just monitor what they are on. There is some really bad stuff on the net!
As for school. Explain to the child WHY. A "because I said so" means nothing to an Aspie and threats only make it worse. Yes. They do have to go to school or Defacs will come, but you need to try to find out WHY he doesn't want to do these things. Sometimes aspie's don't understand the why they should unless they have a good reason to :)
Puberty is VERY difficult for autistic teenagers. Weird things are going on with their bodies that they are more aware of due to interoception. Social requirements become extreme, particularly with the introduction of dating. This is very normal. Try for a smaller school if possible. Once I made it to college and found people with similar interests to mine, I had more motivation to socialize. Now with the Internet and texting, both my teenagers can interact socially but not in person. Encourage your child to at least log in to their favorite YouTube channels or fan fiction on Tumbler and post comments and respond to other people's comments. It's better than nothing, and they are learning scripts they can use later in real life. Good luck.
Yes jarnett74 although I reread. I’m not sure how that works with the courts. I had to dress my son for the last part of 8th grade and threaten to get a cop to drag him outside to school for a few months. I feel your pain. I know it’s miserable some days. When I switched his schools he started doing better. I’ll see since your close what I can find out for you that might help. The ARC thing is in our area so financially they are a great help reimbursing. I can find you an email if you aren’t alrdy involved with them. It’s hard at their age because around here theee just aren’t a lot of services to help.
For the 14 year old, do noises or bright lights bother him? Maybe the reason he doesn't want to go out is, because of sensory needs. It's a total stab in the dark, but maybe a baseball hat to cut the sun glare or wind, sun glasses will also help, maybe even headphones for filter the noise or his own music will help him deal with being out of the house and street noises. My son highly rely's on a house calendar with the family schedule on it. Also, maybe instead of punishment, how about rewards for improved behavior. Pick one behavior a week to work on. Say being on time to leave. Put time to leave on schedule. Make visual schedule of times to eat, shower, dress, brush teeth, shoes, out the door. Check marks for each completed task. The reward could be daily or weekly. As simple as candy, ice cream, or trip to movie theater, trading cards. Whatever your kid is into.