I'm currently experiencing rockiness in my marriage. A lot revolves around our oldest son. He's nine but is the hardest out of our four kiddos. He has caused a lot of turmoil by doing things to his siblings. If he were an only child it would cut down on a lot of the stress and anxiety.

I think a solid relationship prior to special needs kids is paramount. I have been reflecting A LOT on my life lately. I've been realizing things that have been missing in my marriage. I don't feel supported by my husband most of the time. We have had countless convos about what he can do to help. I'm just exhausted by the whole situation. I have felt regret, anger, resentment, sadness. Marriage is something you have to work at like any relationship; however, having a strong foundation makes it easier to face obstacles.

Short answer...yep. Having said that, we've weathered those most difficult years when our son was younger. We will be married 41 years in Dec. Wasn't easy, but we made it through.

Unfortunately, the statistics show that divorce rates with “special families “are significant. Generally, it appears that the fathers cannot accept having children who are “different.“ But as many families have expressed here, having this family “challenge” MAY help strengthen the familial bond. Apparently fathers have more difficulty with acceptance. We had a general support group in our area, then one was created for fathers, as they had different thoughts. I am blessed to have a husband who puts our son and me first… And I do the same in reverse. We have been happily married over 32 years.

I know of two couples that ended in divorce cuz of the hubby not wanting that lifestyle sad but I've read that divorce is more common in families with disabilities. But in my case it didn't change anything we been together 20 years and holding strong.

It helps when the family is religious or has a strong moral compass. By having a special needs child, the parents have more empathy. My parents did have a hard time considering I was their firstborn. My grandma from my dad's side of the family, is an ableist considering she blamed my mom's parenting styles when it was due to my autism. With occupational and speech therapy, I was able to catch up with my milestones later but better than before. My sister is what I would consider an ableist, frequently making fun of "special" people or unfortunate people. She has a dark and twisted humor. Character education is what every family needs so they can treat others the way they want to be treated.