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Anyone have ideas or things that have worked in regards to a Dad and son getting along?
Answer Summary
Members responded to a parent asking about power struggles between a dad and his 10-year-old with ASD, with a recurring theme being the... Read more
It's a 'Guy' thing.
Even Stephen Challenges My Authority from time to time. He just does not understand what to do with it when He gets any.
Constructive guidance from Dad to Son will create a better bond.
Fatherhood and Autism: Words of Wisdom Part One
https://www.autismsociety-nc.org ›
Resources for Dads
Support Groups: Connect with other men experiencing similar challenges through local or online groups like ASD Dads.
Online Communities: Explore resources and stories on platforms like Autism Speaks or the Autism Society for advice from other "autism dads".
Fathering an autistic son means shifting from a desire to "fix" to a mindset of support and deep connection. Meet him exactly where he is, celebrate his unique perspective, and build a predictable, safe environment that honors how he naturally interacts with the world.
Raising an autistic child requires a distinct set of approaches, tools, and mindsets. Dads often default to a protective, problem-solving mindset, but the most effective strategies focus on connection, patience, and adapting to your son’s unique communication and sensory needs.
Connect, Don't Correct
Raise the child you have: Drop neurotypical expectations like forced eye contact, typical speech patterns, or specific social norms. Validate his interests, whether they are trains, video games, or coding, and use them to bond and teach.
Show love on his terms: Physical affection can be overwhelming for some autistic individuals. Always ask before hugging or initiating physical contact, and find other ways to show your interest and pride.
Communicate Effectively
Master the 6-10 second rule: Autistic individuals often need more time to process auditory information. When you ask a question or give a direction, pause for
Manage Your Own Mindset
Live in the present: Dwelling on the past or projecting endless anxieties about the future causes unnecessary stress. Focus on the day-to-day wins and the current moment.
Check your ego: Do not map your own unfulfilled dreams, ambitions, or social anxieties onto him. Your job is to equip him with the building blocks to be a happy, independent adult—not a reflection of yourself.
Resources and Support
Build your village: Seek out a local community. Surrounding yourself with other fathers and families who "get it" can provide immense emotional support and practical tips.
National Autism Organizations: Official groups like Autism Speaks and the Autism Society provide toolkits, guidance, and local directories for father-to-father mentoring and family support groups.
Key Strategies for Connection
Follow His Lead: .
Use Clear, Direct Communication:
Establish Predictable Routines:
Respect His Sensory Needs:
If you are looking to work through this kind of internal conflict, you can:
Find specialized mental health professionals near Anna using the Zencare Therapist Finder.
Explore local counseling options via BetterHelp for Anna, Ohio.
Learn how to identify personal values and reframe inconsistent thoughts using HelpGuide's Dissonance Overview.
Power struggles between a parent and a child with autism are really common, and it's great that you're looking for ways to improve things. The good news is that small shifts in approach can make a big difference.
Here are some strategies that have helped other families:
- Stay calm first — a regulated parent helps Show Full Answer
My opinion (not expert advice) is that your husband needs to find a way to enjoy doing whatever your son enjoys doing, and put the relationship ahead of the activities. I’m very type A and very outdoor activity oriented, but my 4 yr old is not. Most days I’m praying to be able to just enjoy him for who he is, so I’m trying to understand what makes him “tick” and use that to my advantage. Battles need to be chosen wisely. I have high expectations for him in the things that are important (manners, respecting others, doing his best, …non negotiables) but I find ways to trick him (like painting rocks outside on a warm sunny day on our patio table instead of inside, like he wanted).
When my kid is hungry or tired that also greatly effects his ability to be calm and cooperative, so keep in mind the things that trigger your kid.
Hope that helps.
@A MyAutismTeam Member They play video games together some but if it's a racing game Joseph gets agitated. I bought a toy model car engine for them to do together but they worked on it one time and it sits waiting to be completed.
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