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Real members of MyAutismTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭
Farmington, NM

My son is 6 years old and newly diagnosed. I knew as a parent he was autistic at the age of 3 he showed signs. It took years to get a diagnosis as we were sent from one hospital to another then to different child psychologist. It got frustrating until we ended up in California to see a different child psychologist this past summer. Now with an IEP meeting and reading the things they observed it's made it 100x difficult for me to cope. I been up crying. The school he goes too is on a reservation… read more

August 24
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A MyAutismTeam Member

Thank you so much. Means a lot.

August 26
A MyAutismTeam Member

First good job Mom, you GOT a diagnosis! You hung in there when other parents had no clue whay waa going on u went to ALL the different doctors.

Second, most parents and people just will not understand this experience. Its totally normal to cry I have more than one child with autism. Its not a bad thing to cry! You've just found out your path and you're child's are different from what you thought. I bawled like crazy when I found out. And there are still days I do when I see my kids struggling with other kids at school or in life who don't understand and are ignorant and sometimes mean.

But you're crying due to all you're stress, perhaps a sense of loss, and just a different spin on life. IEPs are amazing they help you and others know ahead of time what they need. I has no idea on my first one what happened. So pay attention to your rights for you and your kid. They are good, but you will have to advocate and tell a lot explaining to people about what they may need and when your kid needs it. It happens so fast in the meetings. Just remember u have a right to have a new one whenever you want or need to adjust something.

Schools are full of excellent and amazing teachers Who are overwhelmed, but it doesn't mean u have to accept 30 minutes of OT once a month or 10 minutes of ABA therapy once a week if that's what they want. I've been there a lot with tears and smiles! You got this!

August 26
A MyAutismTeam Member

https://www.nyp.org/healthmatters/helping-paren...

https://nmautismsociety.org/

Farmington, New Mexico offers local and regional autism support, including local physical therapy clinics, diagnostic providers, and in-home or telehealth Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) networks serving San Juan County

An autism diagnosis feels difficult for parents because of long waitlists for specialists, subjective behavioral evaluations, the broad and fluid nature of the spectrum, and the emotional weight of navigating a complex, often adversarial medical and educational system.Systemic and Logistical BarriersLong wait times: Finding a developmental pediatrician or psychologist often takes many months or even over a year.Provider shortages: There is a severe lack of trained specialists who evaluate children, especially for toddlers or older kids.Navigating red tape: Insurance approvals, school accommodations, and referral requirements create massive administrative stress.Diagnostic ComplexityNo simple medical test: There is no blood test or scan; diagnosis relies on behavioral observations and caregiver interviews.The "spectrum" variable: Symptoms present differently depending on age, gender, and intelligence, making subtle or masked traits hard to capture in a brief clinical visit.Overlapping conditions: Distinguishing autism from ADHD, anxiety, or speech delays can blur the clinical picture during early evaluations.Emotional and Psychological TollGrief and acceptance: Parents often process a complex mix of grief for expected milestones alongside fierce love and uncertainty for the future.Second-guessing: Caregivers frequently face well-meaning dismissal from relatives or even early clinicians telling them to "wait and see," breeding self-doubt.

Coping with an Autism Diagnosis | Health Matters | NYP
Coping with an Autism Diagnosis | Health Matters | NYP
NM Autism Society
NM Autism Society
August 24
MyAutismTeam

First, take a breath. What you're feeling is completely valid, and you are clearly a devoted, loving parent. The journey to diagnosis alone — years of being passed from one specialist to another — is exhausting and emotionally draining. It makes total sense that finally seeing everything written down in an IEP feels Show Full Answer

First, take a breath. What you're feeling is completely valid, and you are clearly a devoted, loving parent. The journey to diagnosis alone — years of being passed from one specialist to another — is exhausting and emotionally draining. It makes total sense that finally seeing everything written down in an IEP feels overwhelming, even if part of you already knew.

Grieving, crying, and feeling frustrated doesn't mean you're failing. It means you care deeply. Many parents share this exact experience. As one MyAutismTeam member said, "After a while I started to realize my son wasn't where he needed to be, and at the age of three, he was diagnosed with autism." You are far from alone in this.

The isolation can feel even heavier when your community has limited awareness of autism, which adds an extra layer of pressure on you as a parent. Regarding his teacher, advocating for your son is one of the most powerful things you can do right now. Some helpful steps include:

- Request a meeting with his teacher to educate them about autism and your son's specific needs
- Use the IEP as a tool — it legally requires the school to provide appropriate support
- Ask for accommodations like movement breaks, which can help with sitting still and attention
- Connect with a parent liaison or special education coordinator at the school for support Your son thrived with structure in preschool — that's a really encouraging sign. That same structure can absolutely be recreated in his current classroom with the right support in place.

Be his advocate. You already know him better than anyone, and that is his greatest advantage.

August 24

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