We are in the college phase as well. I find that if I share how my day went first and sometimes I exaggerate with "Oh my goodness you will NEVER believe what happened at work today...." which gets her intrigued then I switch it up to ask how her day went. She gets to really sharing and I love it.

Maybe it will work or not but it's worth a try. 😊

I don't think you should see it that way. Sometimes as the parents we are ( The Heavy ") sometimes we just don't just listen we always given feedback when our kids really didn't ask for it.

I learned to this when my youngest. Just listen to her talk no interruption. If Grandma is easier to talk too then you have to say that's better then no one knowing anything right?

Grandma not really doing the heavy lifting ( so the perspective is different I'm assuming).

Find a shared activity and try using declarative language then see if communication gets better.

Grandparents are a gift let's not overlook the great it can do for our neurodivergent thinkers.

I hope you have a better day.❤️

DonnaJ you are a wonderful east coast mother I am sure your son will come around when timing is right for him

Children on the autism spectrum: grandmother involvement ...

National Institutes of Health (NIH) | (.gov)
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov › ...
by A Sullivan · 2012 · Cited by 74 — Autism spectrum disorders in children were associated with more flexible family functioning, lower levels of family satisfaction, greater grandmother

Why This Happens
• No Pressure or Rules: Moms must enforce daily routines, therapy schedules, and behavioral rules. Grandmas often focus purely on fun, connection, and following the child's lead, which removes performance anxiety.
• Calmer Sensory Environment: A grandmother’s home may be quieter or more predictable, giving the child a much-needed break from the sensory overload of everyday life or siblings.
• Undivided Attention: Grandmothers often have fewer competing household tasks in the moment, allowing them to attune deeply to subtle autistic communication signals.
• The Safe Home Base vs. Adventure: Children often view mom as the secure, permanent anchor of safety, making it easier to venture out emotionally or express themselves elsewhere. This dynamic is not a rejection of you; it means your secure foundation is working

PubMed

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

That's a great idea thank you so much !