Connect with others who understand.

Sign up Log in
Resources
About MyAutismTeam
Powered By

Tap Into the Power of Directness: Use "I"

Posted on August 16, 2019

Caring for someone who has autism can mean having limited energy, time, and bandwidth. You may find yourself needing to say "no" more often than you did before you became a caregiver. Do you have a tough time being direct with others about how you feel? It's not unusual to feel awkward or self-centered when turning down a request or an invitation. You may feel at the mercy of the other person's need.

Using "I" statements can help put you back in the driver's seat of the situation. An "I" statement directly communicates your feelings and sets a clear boundary, allowing you to focus on caring for your loved one on the spectrum and managing autism-related challenges like sensory processing difficulties or fixations. For instance:

I don't feel like going.
I'd rather do something else instead.
I can't do it this week.
Whenever I attend that event, I regret going.

At first, you may feel vulnerable about using direct "I" statements when saying no. Your true feelings are exposed, and you may be judged for using caregiving as an excuse. "I" statements can also be freeing! You don't need to pretend or tell a white lie. It's ok to communicate directly about what you need.

Using an "I" statement is a way of taking responsibility for your feelings. You are not blaming or accusing the other person. You are being honest about your needs and making sure they are recognized.

Parents and caregivers on MyAutismTeam shared some of their experiences with communicating directly:

"I’ve been very vocal so I'm pretty sure I have made a bad rap for myself."

"If he can't walk a mile in my shoes, don't spew that kind of negativity towards me."

"I told her I’m hoping she will take what I’m telling her seriously because my son has not gotten the help he needs."


Have you used "I" statements to set boundaries? How did it feel?
Share your stories about direct communication in the comments below or on MyAutismTeam.
Posted on August 16, 2019

A MyAutismTeam Member

Your a great mom!

June 19, 2021
All updates must be accompanied by text or a picture.

We'd love to hear from you! Please share your name and email to post and read comments.

You'll also get the latest articles directly to your inbox.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.
All updates must be accompanied by text or a picture.

Subscribe now to ask your question, get answers, and stay up to date on the latest articles.

Get updates directly to your inbox.

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service.

Recent Articles

Here are four ways to save money on medications.

4 Ways To Reduce the Cost of Medication (VIDEO)

Here are four ways to save money on medications.
MyHealthTeam does not provide health services, and if you need help, we’d strongly encourage you ...

Crisis Resources

MyHealthTeam does not provide health services, and if you need help, we’d strongly encourage you ...
Welcome to MyAutismTeam — the place to connect with others living with autism. This video will w...

Getting Started on MyAutismTeam (VIDEO)

Welcome to MyAutismTeam — the place to connect with others living with autism. This video will w...
This is a short guided meditation by Dr. Christiane Wolf on self-kindness, which can give you mor...

Self-Kindness When Struggling: 6-Minute Guided Meditation

This is a short guided meditation by Dr. Christiane Wolf on self-kindness, which can give you mor...
If you or a loved one is living with autism, you’re already aware of the impact it can have on yo...

Do You Want To Get Involved With Autism Awareness? Here’s How

If you or a loved one is living with autism, you’re already aware of the impact it can have on yo...
To determine how you can reduce your medical expenses, MyAutismTeam sat down with Susan Null of ...

How To Reduce Medical Bills: Top Financial Expert Shares 10 Tips

To determine how you can reduce your medical expenses, MyAutismTeam sat down with Susan Null of ...

Thank you for subscribing!

Become a member to get even more: