My son is also 15 and I took a very scientific approach to the Birds and the Bees. I provided all the biology behind it first. After he absorbed that information and asked about 200 questions (which I patiently answered) then we talked about the boy/girl feeling and things. I explained about dating, and especially about how quickly girls in his age group change their minds and move on to new ideas (like another boy)...We watch teen appropriate movies about dating and I try to ask him what he thinks. Most importantly I explained about STDs and unwanted attention. It is important for kids that have a tendency to fixate on things understand that no means no and if someone is not interested in their advances no matter how kind and precious they might be, no means no and move on. People see ASD kids as different and can sometimes get freaked by their attentions. It is better to prepare your child to understand that dating is hard for everyone not just him and that at this age make ups and break ups happen often. If he meets a girl through a Autism group function it is best to set the ground rules with the parents as well as the kids. If everyone is on board it makes things easier. Also, I wouldn't let my oldest son have girls in his room or go to a girls house unchaperoned so I made sure my ASD son knows it is a family rule and not one set up just for him. The dating and high school years are difficult no matter what. Just make sure you don't push him if he meets a girl he likes and let him take it at his own pace but within the guidelines you set. Good Luck! My son has a girl cousin on year older than him. He spends a lot of time with her and her girlfriends. One girl in the group particularly likes my son because there is no pressure hanging out with him. I made sure her mother knew that she was calling my son on the phone and coming by my house. I asked her mother to discuss Aspeger's with her and to remainder her that my son was unique, not stupid, or retarded (I hate that word) and that he had genuine feelings so to remember he is a real guy with real feelings. Thankfully, the girl didn't need the reality check and likes my son for who he is and it is a nice friendship.

My brain tells me that this is no different than it was with my oldest son but my heart tells me that the end result is so different. Watching my son sit on the sidelines at a time when he should be going to school dances and hanging out at the mall with a group of friends breaks my heart. My son however, does not have the same feelings about this situation. He is perfectly happy with the world he has created for himself in his books, video games, and computers. All children are different and I have to pull myself back and realize that if he is happy then I should be happy for him and stop worrying about what might have been and concentrate on what is.....I ask him everyday about what it is he wants to do...what is it that he needs....how does he feel...I make sure I concentrate on the positive aspects of his life like his great grades, and Robotics club, and the video game computer camp we are researching for the Summer. I make sure I don't turn my priorities in to his priorities....I try to make sure my anxiety over his lack dating,or social interactions don't become his anxieties. My oldest son tells me all the time that his little brother is more reality based than most kids his age but he is happy, secure, and knows how much he is loved and valued....so I should just "Chill and back off"...so that is what I try to do....OH! I still worry about a myriad of issues for the older one too! Maybe that is just motherhood......Asperger's or not!

@A MyAutismTeam Member Very good advise I was thinking on the same lines as you. What happened was that Stephen got a permission slip sent home about the upcoming health class. When I was asked whether I wanted Stephen in the class it was too late because he would not on any day of the week let me into his backpack because he had something hidden there for me for X-Mas and he didn't want to see it but I know I have to address this issue. We need to talk about appropriate behavior..He does not like me saying that word (appropriate). He is too funny sometimes. He has girls that are friends with him at school they high five each other and give praises when needed but I just do not know if he is looking in the glass or though the glass so to speak. I guess as a parent of any type of child we do not want to see our children hurt or made fun of. I just imagine sometimes how hard it was for Stephen's older brother Chris and what he went through just to fit in. Stephen has friends but not close friends. If it was within an Autism group I wouldn't be this edgy, however, it isn't it is through public school. I have always set the same boundaries and guidelines with him; which happened to be the same as his brother. I do not treat him differently that way. I was told that the girls at school do not encourage him in that direction but Stephen may seek in that area. One thing is for sure, Stephen does not like talking on the phone it hurts his ears because his hearing is very sensitive Also, I agree with you on that word retarded. That word sets me on my soap box for months if not years. I despise that word. Thank You very much. I hope this goes well.

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A MyAutis...

My son was teased by several guys on the football team and they prompted him took look at porn. Please keep an eye on your child's access to pc and porn. Once I found this out I was very open about how sex happens and able to explain why, how and consequences. I purchased a box of condoms and showed him how to use them. (Using a device) Dad talked to him too. We made sure that he let us know we were there for him to talk to anytime he had questions and the importance of waiting for a special person before having sex. He was 17 and now he is 20. We still talk. I might add that he is high functioning/AS. I encourage him that he will find a girlfriend someday and the she will be very lucky to have him as a boyfriend. He is a very good looking, kind and sweet young man. (Not to be bias.)

we had to start in 5th grade because that is when the family life classes start. We kept it very simple but make sure we covered most of the information that was listed on class syllabus. We did find a book at Lifeway that was very helpful - it comes in a series based on age (we adjusted a bit because socially we are about 3 years delayed.) Learning about Sex for the Christian Family is the series - book #2 is where do babies come from. 2 separate books 1 for girls and 1 for boys. It was very helpful for us.