My kids toilet trained with books on their laps. A book they like, will relax them, distract them from wanting to get up and do something else. I'd have several books there to look through. Before you know it, out it comes. They get bored sitting there and waiting. Try that.

My son is 13, and just started pooping on the toilet. For many it is a very scary thing.Have you tried letting him go in there with you and when you are done having a bm you show him what you have done and pint it out? Sounds gross I know, but it may help. Also you could take the bm from diaper and dump it in there when you change them and say see this is where bm goes. For my son, we just kept saying your gonna be 14, where do you poop? In the toilet not in your pants. My son still wears pull ups everyday. Totally soaked thru every night head to toe. Once in a while still poops in pants, but we are better than where we were. Also you could do a reward system where he ONLY gets that one item whether it be a mini hershey bar etc, just for going on toilet. Also be consistent in your wording, don;t have one person say time to poop in potty, vs time to use the toilet etc, cause potty is pee, perhaps, you know?? Just throwing some things out there~

We're just starting with ours (4yo). He's always been really drawn to music so I'll sit in the bathroom playing music while he sits on the toilet. I usually have him sit through one song, but sometimes he'll just sit for the longest time rocking out/stimming. The seat has handles and he seems to appreciate that. When he does actually use it, he grabs the handles tightly. Occasionally he sits there for the longest time, only to go the minute I take him off the seat and put him in the bathtub for a bath. Fortunately, we're still able to keep him diapers. (tmi, but we just had a success while I was typing this.) patience and consistency are your friend. Good luck!

@A MyAutismTeam Member, Jake would TELL me to put his poop in the potty! lol he knew it went there but wasnt down to sit on it! I think its sensory too, Walmart carries the one we used, it had elmo and other sesamie street characters on it and little plastic white handles on either side, it was like $12 super cheap and worth the try plus it gave his bottom more support giving him a more stable sitting area. Jake still struggles with sensing a BM coming, he typically rushes to the potty because its like a sudden realization, so thats something he may have to figure out with time, but he will. Hang in there, it WILL get better :) *Hugs*

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A MyAutis...

I had this exact problem with Jake, only he would poop on the floor! He was pee trained a full year before we got the "poop in the potty" down. For jake, I finally realized that it was sensory, the feeling of "sitting" on a potty was unstable and creepy for him. I tried several of those cushioned inserts, and finally found one he felt stable on (it had handles for him to hold) after that we would increase the length of time he sat on it, and reward him just for sitting on it, even if he didnt go. We read social stories to him and watched elmos potty time video. One day he announced he had to poop and ran to the potty....It was a wonderful day!!