@A MyAutismTeam Member Im not saying we are not doing 'anything'..lol But, car rides to this place, to that place...the terror in his eyes because their lights are too loud...I felt bad.. We get more connection from our son when we get on the floor and just do what he loves...during those moments is when he opens the door and lets me in...and learning is something that is the afterthought. Sitting him down to do drills & tasks and hopefully get him to utter a word aprox, make a request, point or give the answer to a question that someone has asked him too many times to even count. I know he knows what it is...hes not brain dead! So, I started to educate myself on the SonRise program...it all made complete sence to me. Like a light bulb going off and my heart coming to a full acceptance of everything....I started to implement the things I had learned...and then decided to throw most of the common things that had seemed to have a burden attached to them out the door. Then I seen my son start to change....for the better. But, sometimes I wonder if having someone who has a 'degree' that hangs on a wall is more hmmmm....qualified, should I dare...to 'help' my kiddo. But then I dont think my kid needs any 'help' to begin with...he just learns dif...you know what I am saying? Temple G, I have never read any of her books..but had the chance to meet and listen to her a few weeks ago in Ft. Myers..and she said the same things.."Autistic children just need structure and a chance..." Not once did she say " Autistic kids need speech, OT, PT, Feeding therapy, etc etc..... I mean, some kids prob do well having all this on their schedule..for mine...too much going on and not enough time to have a chance to enjoy being a kid and learning the way his brain naturally can with out the fight...Ah, what do I know!!! Its a learning process that we are all working on ! Much love!

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A MyAutis...

I think it sounds as if what you were doing was not working. If that's the case, I totally understand. But if this results in your kid becoming an island, even if it's a kid island...that's not good. People do need other people. We tried saying that, initially. We said, Leave her alone. She's just shy. She's an introvert. But then - we walked into an intervention, and heard just how out there she was, and we figured out pretty quickly that she'd end up as one of those street people, talking to herself, alone forever. She needed to figure herself out, and get a map to find the rest of the world. Yes, she's herself, and will never become a cheerleader, or a peppy little extrovert. But she's figured out how to connect, how to make a drawbridge that she can pull up at times.

Don't stop trying because what you were doing was not working. We had bad therapists, bad psychiatrists, bad meds... it happens. Tweaking must happen, too. We had a nightmare 4th grade teacher. A horror show. She made it through. She's a tough cookie now, finishing her first year of college, maybe 800 miles away from me. We've had the occasional tearful phone call, but she's made it. I think if we'd done nothing, she'd be living in our basement. Give some thought to what you would like him to have as a life in ten years, and what it will take to get him there. Then, unfortunately, you'll have to try to find it. Good luck... and keep writing. Amy

Jill and Brenda make excellent points (and sense) as do you Victoria in this whole process of learning to help your child finding out what doesn't work is equally (although not immediately satisfying & definitely disappointing) as important as finding out what does work.
The "good fit" model is best...makes it less adversarial. And your son telling you "the lights are too scratchy" is beyond price. Non-verbals can't even say what's "hurting/not working" and can only retreat into rigid posture, fetal position or lash out physically. Keep searching. It can be exhausting trying, evaluating, discarding, incorporating, moving on but when you find things, systems, and special people that sync with your child hope is rekindled.

I understand your position and agree that your child is not a project. But disabled or not, all parents are raise their children so they can develop into their potential. If after careful research, you decide that a therapy will help your child, then you should do it. You can treat your child like a child and still do therapy.

I suggest you read Temple Grandin's book, "The Way I see it". Temple, probably the most well-known Autistic person says that the worst thing parents can do is to do nothing. I agree. I think Temple has some really great perspectives on how we should treat our special kids.

Our OT and PT clinic does a 12 session cycle with 3-6 months in between. They do it because the demand is too high (very few pediatric OT's and PT's in our area are network providers for our insurance). But I actually think I prefer it that way because it keeps our schedule from being too crazy.