How Much Time Is To Much For A 12 Year Old On The High Functioning End To Be Spending On Computer And Video Games. | MyAutismTeam

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How Much Time Is To Much For A 12 Year Old On The High Functioning End To Be Spending On Computer And Video Games.
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭
posted July 30, 2012
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A MyAutismTeam Member

I'm all ears for an answer to this too! My 12 yo AS son is the same way! We have told him to stop, and when he doesn't he knows he risks losing his DS for lengthy periods of time. Now, when I give it to him, I give him a time limit: be off when Dad comes home. From now until x, that's an hour and a half. If he gives me a difficult time, he won't get to play the next day, so it behooves him to do as I ask. I hadn't thought about having him earn time by doing chores. I may have to start that. Thanks for the idea.

posted July 31, 2012
A MyAutismTeam Member

Great idea Jessi. Our kids have to have structure. They crave boundaries. It's a safety thing with them and preparing him for the end of his time is a great tool to use. Whatever works to avoid those "meltdowns" is a powerful tool, if for nothing else but your own sanity!

posted August 10, 2012
A MyAutismTeam Member

My son is now 17 and is very, very high functioning. I have a couple different theories on video games. When my son was 3 he would play the old pc games that are First Grade, Second grade... etc and by the age of 3 he had finished the series and I think it went to fourth grade. We did not have a diagnosis at that time and I was really impressed at his intelligence. "Wow" I would think "I have a genius! And to this day, he is very smart and I think his last IQ test came out at 130. Not quite Mensa BUT then the other behaviors began to appear. He never wanted to go out and play, when he would go out and try to fit in, it would turn into a fight with other kids and once, I caught him swings a lawn chair at some of the neighborhood kids. That really didn't do much to help him fitting in, if you know what I mean. My son also has ADHD so keeping him in one place for any length of time was (and still is) Impossible!! He once told me (and I had a doctor back this up) that the video games are the only thing that was fast enough to keep up with his brain. He could not sleep at night because his brain would never shut down. As he aged, I agree, I saw the same "personality change" when he would get too much gaming time but there was NOTHING else he was interested in and believe me, we tried. T-Ball was ok but you know how our kids are when it comes to competition and soccer was just a debacle! He did like to swim so that was a help but I had to be with him when he wanted to go to the pool we had at the time. One good thing, he swims like a fish but he would always go back to the games. It is a slow process (our kids don't like change either) but eventually I used that to my advantage and if he failed to bring home at least B's he lost his games for the next grading period. It was usually a fight, but consistency is the key so he started to bring up his grades. He just graduated high school last month and received a small scholarship for having the highest SAT scores in his school. He beat the Valedictorian. I learned how to use video games to my advantage and one thing I have learned is you are never going to get them to give them up. There are many brilliant people making history right now in technology, medicine and many other fields that have Asperger's. Knowing what I did about his IQ, and not wanting him to just "throw it away" college was always on the table and he knew that the day we brought him home from the hospital. When my son gets too much, he starts "acting" the part of the character in the game. I always monitored his games (and TV) to keep the violence out. Nothing that shoots or kills. I have seen 7 year old kids playing Call of Duty and their parents are fight there. Mine just started playing those as now he is 17 and can start choosing for himself, but getting them into a game that has no violence is good. True there is violence in everything. We grew up with it in Bugs Bunny, but keep working with them every minute you can and use them as a reward for doing good things. If he did not do one of his chores, then he lost 5 minutes of game time. I slowly got him to have 1 hour of games, then chores and he would have a total of 3 hours (this was Jr. High level) so loosing any of that precious time to him was unbearable. For me, charts, posters, notes on the mirror, nothing visual (even though he is very visual) worked. Sometimes it was because he was stubborn and other times it was because of something else. Sometimes I would not realize the answer until days later. There is no easy fix to the behavior problems our kids have but you just take it one day at a time and try to think outside the box. Good Luck!

posted July 31, 2012
A MyAutismTeam Member

Our behaviorist has used computer/tv/wii (we label them all "screen time") as an incentive tool. Our son (9yo, Aspie) can earn points by following directions (+3), using nice words (+1), Being helpful (+3 or +5 if a major thing), etc. or losing points (same rate, also -5 for aggression, verbal or physical.) Each point gets him 1 minute of Screen time. We added a bonus +5 for each all positive hour of the day, and tied his overall day of camp behavior into this too. (Also, we finally found the perfect camp, which is geared to HFA children.)

He generally does not earn more than an hour or two per day, but he seems so much more satisfied than when he deemed it arbitrary on our part!

posted July 31, 2012
A MyAutismTeam Member

Computer/video games are very, very stimulating - - cognitively and physically . . . this creates problems for my son, even as the computer/internet provides forms of community and sociability that he can't/doesn't enjoy in real life (aka "meat space") . . . we've recently linked computer time to chores - - he earns time on the computer by doing household/personal chores, like cleaning up his room, taking out the garbage, feeding the dogs, etc. A great way to incentivize time on the computer. On the other hand, after a two hour computer session, my son really needs to wind down, otherwise his brain is still revving . . . so now, we're trying to figure out "transition" activities - - reading or writing or walking - - to help him gear back down to slower-paced real time. This is not a direct answer to your question - -but a way that we're trying to manage the challenges and pleasures of virtual life . . .

posted July 31, 2012

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