We have talked about this time and time again yet it hasn't solved the problem. Last year at school they even did groups with the boys to talk about touching and got a couple of girls to agree to the sessions. It lasted for a short time but he went back to touching the beginning of this year and the girls weren't comfortable with his asking to touch them. I guess this is another of those times to stand up for your son and make the school help everyone feel more comfortable maybe a few minutes the beginning of each day have everyone shake hands or hug depending on how the school fees about hugging but hugging is a known needed skill for growth and development.

We still rely on the "personal space bubble". Because my 13 y/o is very rule oriented, we told him: The rule is you MAY NOT invade another person's space without their permission. It has worked for him pretty well so far. For our 7 y/o it's a simpler rule: Ask before you touch.

Same boat here. When I talk to my son about not touching anyone without their permission no matter how small or "innocent" the touch (hugs, putting arm around them, etc.) I emphasize the "no means no" quite a bit and let him know in no uncertain terms that if he violates the "no" request he could end up without friends and worse yet end up in jail!! Because he tends to follow his own perception of that rule, which is that he will decide if they want to be touched or not, I've given him very literal and very real results of how that would play out. I told him to ALWAYS ask permission before touching someone and ABSOLUTELY respecting their answer if it is NO.

I also have tried to have him relate to this by talking about what kinds of things offend and upset him when people do not honor his requests about that and how irate this makes him. Things like someone suddenly scaring him when they know he hates that, someone making continual loud noises after he has asked them to stop, or if were forced to eat something that had a texture that made him gag.

I've told him that teenage girls are trying to figure this out as well and just feel weird about the whole touchy-feely thing with everybody. It is not singling him out for them to say no, but it will be if he does not respect and honor their preferences of not being touched.

So far this seems to have gotten through to him. I'll keep you posted!

That sounds like a reasonable request. Perhaps he could get three hugs a day? Would this be a compromise? He needs to know it may not be from the people he wants to hug but from those who are willing to hug him. If he observes the boundaries with this and accepts it, he may find more people are willing to volunteer for the hugs? Also let him know this would mean good hygiene has to be strictly observed too. If he's anything like my son that would be an issue he just doesn't "get" fully yet. Keep us posted as this is a conundrum of ours as well. Wishing you the best of success with this!

The conversations between teens at school now makes me think I must've grown up in the Dark Ages...my son tells me the converations from school and I think they try to come up with the most ludicrous ideas just to see me blush...last year there was a couple that had actually done it in the classroom without any of the teachers knowledge until my son told them. This year its the granddaughter of a preacher and her boyfriend that have introduced my son to knowledge about a bunch of sex toys. I'm happy my son isn't interested in joining in their games but the thought that they are discussing these things so openly in school is a bit unnerving