Hi MicahsMommy, I can totally relate to your dilemma. I too have an autistic son with a nuerotypical older sister. She is 13 a couple of years ago we had very similar issues. We finally realized that she was right to be jealous and frustrated with the situation and so we apologized. We sat and talked and gave her the power to set a designated time when it was all about her.Once a week her father or I do something with her as the priority, even if that just means a board game of her choice, a bike ride or what ever. We also began to ask for her input on ways to help her brother during a family outing (before we leave of course).She loves to feel like she is helping, like she has a voice, like she matters.Now we also explained that nothing is set in stone and sometimes we have to adjust but that she would never again be left out. Dont get me wrong, we still have are moments but any typical siblings do, right? Hope this helps. Take care and good luck.

wow!! I am in the same sintuations as all of you, my ASD 4year old and my 11 year old girl that had ADHD.She loves CJ so much and she told me sometimes she does get jealous that he gets so much attention, its hard!!! I said that she had a right to feel jealous, and its ok,and it doesnt mean she loves her brother any less,When CJ is asleep i give her time , but sometimes i am so tired!!!ALL you can do is the best that you can

My kids are all really close together. Ages (9,8,6 in a week or so,3) I am currently pregnant as well. The jelousy is really bad. Each kids has different schedules and therapies (except my daughter). Each kid is in a different extra curricular activity. Each kids has different quirks that are handled differently. Each kid had a different diagnosis. Makes it really hard. My hubs and I signed up for some free parenting classes....they are really, really helpful. Try looking up some classes in your local areas. I think it is a sign of strength to call in help when you are at a loss. Our issues have greatly decreased in the past month and me and the hubs are on the same page now....makes everything better. Jelousy is hard to deal with for the parent and the child alike.

My daughter loves her little brother and gets so annoyed with him at the same time. She also knows what irritates him and will push his buttons when she's feeling left out, ignored, or unloved. Like @A MyAutismTeam Member said, it helps when we acknowledge her--We say to her, "Yes, your brother is being a snot right now. We know it's not fair to you, but he can't help it and he really does love you. We need you to (walk away, be quiet, quit messing with him, be patient, try to deal with it--whatever the situation calls for). We can talk about it later when I'm done working with him." Then we make sure to come back to her as we can! But in the midst of a meltdown or just an annoying behavior, we can't deal with two children, and she is the one who is capable of being the "bigger person."

I've talked to many adults who grew up with special needs siblings, and all of them assure me they are kinder, more compassionate, and more forgiving and patient for having grown up with that person, so don't be discouraged!

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A MyAutis...

My oldest is NT and big sister to two special needs kids. She gets jealous and has attention seeking behaviors. On the other hand..she gets the short end of the stick when it comes to time with her dad and I. Sometimes she unintentionaly becomes the help or third adult. To compensate and to try to give her special time...we set ur special needs kids bedtime early and set hers late. We encourage her to persue hobbies, sports, clubs, ect and back hed on interests. No matter how much I want her to have equal attention...realisticaly she never will...but the extra touches do help reduce the negative behavior.