My son is the same way. No amount of warnings or preparation helps with transitions. He doesn't like change. I've only been able to get him through transitions by distracting him by talking about something he really wants or wants to do. Sometimes that doesn't work either. But we keep on it as he's proven even after several yrs of it seeming like he wasn't getting it, he would all of sudden to it.

Teeth brushing - if u think about all the steps, smells, noises, etc that go with it, u realize how much change goes into doing it. It could be anyone of those things. That's all it takes. Also, my sons OT says that if 1 sense is off, it will throw off the others. My son won't eat anything but crunchy or chewy stuff. So we are working on sensory therapy and working our way to textures by strengthening the other senses (which are weak for his age).

The time works very well for him too! He has never complained of pain while brushing his teeth but maybe he doesn't recognize the feeling as pain if it just isn't a comfortable feeling. Yes we too have had to do a lot of adjusting with the shower and getting it "just right" is often a process but hey, it gets the job done. I also have concluded that he is very difficult when any requests are made of him regardless of how many warnings or reminders he recieves about what is going to happen. He has a one track sort of mind and he doesn't like to do anything that is different from what he has planned. This is so tricky to work through. I have even allowed him to determine when things get done, as long as they get done. Seems to help a little, but when the time comes to actually complete it...meltdowns occur. Again--I appreciate all the feedback!!!! Keeps me feeling positive. :)

We found that it was the sensory issues that caused my son's refusal to bath or brush teeth. After years of adjusting water temps, shower heads, shower curtains, etc., we finally are on track and have NO ISSUES with any of them anymore. It took 10 years, but it takes a lot of persistence and trial-and-error. The shower heard either sprayed too hard or too wide (and he didn't have room to escape it if he needed to), the curtain was too dark, or the water temp would bother him (he likes it a bit hotter than me but we by habit adjust water to what WE think is good). With teeth, we went through several tooth brushes and finally settled with a battery operated, very soft, small headed brush. He has very sensitive gag reflex and sensory issues when it comes to his mouth, so we tried every brush. The brush might be too big or it may feel painful to your child. Remember their senses are either overly active or under active. We also tried many toothpastes and he cannot stand mint. We use bubble gum or grape. With washing hands and teeth brushing, I found a great little timer on Amazon that has worked wonders! He has to know that the activity is going to end so having the timer visually let him know when he's almost finished is a God-send. (Here it is at http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000TWV1S4/ref...). Think of other things that might be causing his refusal other than that he just "doesn't want to." Typically that is not the case. Hope this helps!

my son refuses to shower unless he smells. To them, an activity has to serve a function. I showed him how he can smell and hair gets gross if he doesn't bathe. My son use to shower. For some reason, he refuses the shower and prefers to bath. Recently he was able to tell me that the shower feels like needles.

It's been 3 years so you may not read this, and maybe this is no longer an issue for your son. I would suggest asking him why he doesn't want to shower. Curious what his answer is going to be.