Man tent to ignore the issue, unfortunately my ex-husband and I couldn't work our issues, even a year after we divorce he wasn't part of the solution. Didn't matter how many times I beg for him to help and do therapy sessions with our son he always refused to do so. Until my therapist agreed to talk to him and they work together once and he realize how easy things can be. Then he confess that he didn't want to help because he taught that he was going to mess thing up and I would be all over him, he said that I was doing such a great job and that our boy was better off without him, when in reality he was dying to interact with our son but he didn't know how. We still divorce but it takes time for them to realize how easy can be to help and be involve in their children life, I would suggest to find a friends or someone close to him to talk to him about this because if it comes from you it will sound like you are nagging at him but if it comes from someone else is an advice.

You are so not alone there. But, really, I realized at some point that I really expect too much from a man to think that he would take 50/50 on the effort and work involved. Men have alot of needs that only their s/o can fulfill. Many dads especially tend to go on like there's no issue because honestly it is dificult for a man to dig emotionally deep enough to face their own feelings and come to terms with things. It takes alot longer for a man to do too. Moms, we just do what we have to for our children by instinct. Men have to make a conscious effort. I came to terms with this by realizing that I must encourage my husband to do what he does and make every effort to really celebrate every good thing he does do that contributes to our family such as holding down the bottom line financially speaking. This isn't what you wanted to heart but try to give him alot more credit and that will change things more than anything else. Sometimes, I feel like a single mom because my heart is so involved, but the thing is that I will self destruct my marriage if I don't give him credit or find ways to build my marriage at the same time. Raising a child on the spectrum is a consuming task. There are alot of dads more involved than mine and alot of dads less involved than my husband. A SUPER important thing is to find at least one person who is also an Autism mom but father down the path who has had an outcome like what you want to see for your child and for her to be a really trusted person you can call anytime. I have ONE person like that and she is the difference between going on and giving up some days! If you don't have someone like that then counseling is a good option, I only say that because a counselor can be an understanding person in the midst of your chaos if you don't currently have a friend who can do that. I often think that what I deserve is a Hawaiian vacation - not gonna happen! It's sort of like joining the military. The process is toughening you up but making you a more loving person at the same time. Love is more about what you give than what you have and you have a ton of that going for you! In any case, no s/o or husband will be able to listen and understand you or even be expected to be able to listen. I find another mom is key to filling my needs because one husband can't do the job! That would be expecting too much. But, I mean literally if he is sitting on the couch and doesn't work - that's a different story entirely! :)

My husband does engage in healthy parenting. As far as I go, I simply do more of the work with the treatments and therapies, thats why I feel like a single parent I have to carry more of the burden because my husband is the one holding down a job that brings home bacon! I have to fight the battles because I'm the one who is home. I have to be the advocate because I am there during the day and night. It's going to be different for all of us but I don't think it's an unusual feeling even if your marriage is generally decent and your husband does everything he can like my situation. So, how much does your husband contribute is a good question to consider and what would you do without him? Those are 2 really good questions to think about. I would say - my husband does contribute a ton if I am giving him enough credit for what he does do and this would be massively difficult without what he does contribute. So, that indicates to me that I do need to be more celebrating what he does do and really try harder to build my marriage because I'm not at the place where I could say - without him nothing would be different with how hard this is and I can't say he doesn't contribute anything. There's a difference and only you can make the call.

The child needs at least one parent engaged in healthy parenting. I've always had to look at the ways my s/o contributes that are NOT so obvious or that are just different from my style.

I'm sorry that you're having such troubles. Please know that not all husbands and s/o's are like that.

I pray that God will give you the strength and that He will convict the heart and mind of your s/o to understand his role in your life and in the life of your child. Amen.