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Say "No" by Saying "Yes" to Something Else

Posted on June 05, 2019

Saying "no" with grace and honesty can be challenging. Sometimes our fear of ending a conversation awkwardly or letting a friend or relative down can nudge us into saying "yes" to things that are difficult for us. For caregivers, saying "no" can feel more complicated. Will they ever ask again? Will the invites stop coming? Have I said "no" too often?

An alternative way to say "no" is to create a third option, another choice. For instance, your family is invited to a barbecue, but you don’t have the time or energy to organize the trip. You could say, “We won’t make it to the barbecue, but maybe we can schedule a play-date?"

Bad days arising out of the blue are beyond your control. Asking for a raincheck or suggesting a future get-together instead shows it's important to you but lets you focus on caring for you and your family.

Here are some conversations from the community about this topic:

"How do you take care of yourselves?"

“People are used to us leaving abruptly without saying goodbye.”

“I did several little things last week to put myself first.”

Have you found alternative ways of saying "no," without saying "no?"
Share in the comments below.

A MyAutismTeam Member said:

Man, when I finally learned how to say No to people, it was like a weight had been lifted off of me. It wasn't that I was a push over or anything like… read more

posted 5 months ago

hug (2)

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