Here's one resource. http://autismpdc.fpg.unc.edu/content/extinction

http://www.letstalksls.com/resource-library/aut...

Very well said!!

Here are a few more resources. We've run this program at home and school with my boys and it has worked wonders! They take no so much better! Not all the time, but it has made a world of difference!

http://www.teachautism.com/downloads/Accepting_...

http://www.poacofpa.net/downloads/Problem_Behav...

Unfortunately, the research shows using punishers doesn't always work or if it does not for long. Over time they only "behave" when the "punished" is around instead of learner an alternative way to communicate. The example we use when teaching is every speeds until they see a cop. Then they slow down or get a ticket. If they get a ticket they may not speed again right away but eventually they go back to speeding. Hope that makes sense.

I'm NOT alone in this! Awe... Sorry, but it feels so good to be understood completely. Having my son spit in my face at the registers or checking in to an appointment (his anxiety is at an all time high during transition periods because he doesnt know what to expect as to how he will feel about the upcoming experience, even tho he knows what is about to happen) and the receptionist or cashier look at me with such disgust and judgement on my parenting skills. It is so frustrating to feel like I want to explain to them the issue so that they dont frown upon my son (or worse, try to correct is behavior for me). But i refuse to give them the time of day, or even explain to them that he is on the spectrum (none of their business). Its just frustrating to feel judged, to have my son frowned upon when he is truly a blessing and a gift of joy (most of the time). I have to learn how to let it go, and its not easy for me now. I have always felt the need to justify myself in the past, so my son is making me a better person because his ways show me that the ways of others doesnt matter...Its what we do that does.
I firmly believe that spanking is not helpful nor beneficial in any case, spectrum or NT. Personally, I think spanking is jjst a parent who has run out of tools and needs to search for more. I mean no offense, it iz just my opinion. I know that others feel strongly for spanking. To each his own. I stand against it. I especially feel that children on the spectrum will receive it as a mixed signal. Hands are not for hitting, yet spanking is ok? Does not compute. Something to think about.... I have been working hard on trying to fivure out the cause or triggers prior to my son spitting. So far, I have noticed that when we use a certajn negative tone in our voice, or when we say ghe word "no" or "cant", he will spit. He is frustrated about not being able to move forward with his plans, & lacks the verbal skills to tell us his wants, and perhaps lacks the ability to know of options. I ha e been trying to find visual cards and emotion photos to show him so that he can point to how or what it is. Finding a replacement behavior will be tough. I do believe that working with him on his OT helps. When we dont stay on top of them, it shows. Bonding and Moro exercises seem to help the most. Also, any deep breathing or exercises that work on connecting the left and right sides of the brain (race track or x's) also seem to help my son. I know that every cbild is different, but perhaps these will benefit your child as well?
Best of luck to you all in your journey. Having a child on the spectrum can be such a cballenge. I work hard every day to see te benefits and positive side to my son being on the spectrum. I need to stay positive for my own life and happiness, and also for my son. I will never give up hope. Take care, and hugs to all.