Look, just expect your child to test worse than you expect them to. It's actually designed that way to ensure kids who need help get it. All the resources listed above are excellent and an iep is designed to give your child what he needs. Advocate for whatever the district can provide but expect to take some of it into your own hands. When the district diagnosed my son as severely autistic it threw my wife into a depression I haven't seen from her since 9/11. Shortly after that we had him tested privately and he was diagnosed mild to moderate. TAKE THE SERVICES YOU CAN GET.

Ask questions! If you don't understand say so so they can clearly explain what will be done. There are no standards for therapy it really depends on the child and their needs so at anytime it can change. Be sure to clearly explain what you expect from the team and his therapy you are his/her voice so don't be afraid to speak up.

it's a process so don't worry too much about this first meeting. Just prepare a list of your concerns prior to the meeting. If everything is not addressed, then ask for another meeting. Be calm and reasonable and listen well. But don't hesitate to ask questions or put forth ideas. During these first few meetings, you will be finding out what kind of team your son has and who "has the power" to make decisions.

And in the meantime, order the book "From Emotions to Advocacy" so you can learn how to effectively advocate for your son in the IEP system.

I just had my first IEP Meeting yesterday and like you was very stressed for about a week prior. I had so much anxiety about it and "how" to be the best advocate for my son. The sites mentioned above are all very helpful. I live in CA. and also found a free guide from SchwabLearning.org entitled, "Your First IEP Meeting" and found it to be extremely helpful in preparing. There is also a IEP Meeting Planner available at nichcy.org for free. Remember to breathe and truly take your time. Your team is led by you! You have the right to have a draft of the eval findings prior to the meeting and it may look worse than you expect but it may be because they are trying to make sure you get services. Don't sign the final IEP until you take it home and review it in a less emotional state and less stressful environment! "Prepare for the worst and work for the best" is what I say! You and your family will be just fine. Good Luck!
BTW I feel lucky, blessed, and happy to report that my meeting yesterday went GREAT! I was stressed until about 5min. in but then realized that I could participate as a prepared and equal part of the team and was glad that I had done my research, prepared for the worst and gave my child MY Best!! In the end it's all any of us can do! :-)

My son goes to a special school which is ABA only. They do have typical children come into the program and spend time with the spectrum kids. And it has proven to be fairly effective at getting spectrum children to pattern after non-spectrum children. The biggest concern I have about inclusion programs is that peer pressure from typically developing children can be very hurtful at times. My son attends a school with a 2/1 teacher ratio, and it is covered by my insurance policy