Oh, my gosh I can so relate to your story! My now 21 year old son tried a community college and an university. He also refused to utilize the disability center resources. He does not identify himself as having disabilities. He has been in college for 3 years and has about 1 year of credits (is currently on academic probation).He also blames everyone/everything else when things go wrong.It is so frustrating as I am his scapegoat AND his safe place.

We have not been through the problem (yet) but I recommend that you address the problem head-on. Remind him that he really is different, whether he wants it or not. School is hard for everyone, and many people with Aspergers find school to be more so.

People with Aspergers tend to use their intellect to fight their way through school, and eventually overcome every problem thrown at them. But it can be frustrating, time-consuming, and unfair. The big obstacles fall into several categories:

1. Many people with Aspergers need predictability. School is not always predictable, but with a little advance work, it can at least become manageable.

2. School is full of metaphors and abstract reasoning. Kids with Aspergers just need to use their working memory to find ways around the odd lessons.

3. Organization and prioritization are key to dealing with college stress, but people with Aspergers have to work much harder to organize their time. This is frequently called "executive functioning", but I think that is a poor term for it. A better description might be "time management". It is hard for people with Aspergers because they tend to focus on what they are doing, rather than how long it is taking them to do it.

4. Expertise is not transferrable. In High School, expertise in one area can tnd to help you in other areas. A strong ability with words can help you through history class. But in college, the classes are more diverse, and more demands are unique. Someone who has an expertise in math will find that they are lost and bored in English Literature.

Add that all together, and wrap it up with a dislike of social interactions and you have a very unpleasant experience in college. Not only are you frustrated and sidelined, but you have a hard time asking for help.

It may be of some comfort to know that no one dies of Aspergers. Almost everyone eventually figures out a way to get through it. They usually find a goal that is meaningful to them, and structure their efforts around that goal.

But step number 1 is getting him to admit that he may need a little help. It might be as simple as a quiet place to study and a more predictable routine, or it may be as complicated as learning new emotional management techniques.

My suggestion would be to let him know what the rules are. "If you fail a class, you will have to take that class over, and not be allowed to take any other classes until you pass that one. If you miss classes or homework assignments, you will have to set aside certain hours each day to study and complete homework. If you have behavior problems in class, you will have to talk to the people at the disability center."

By establishing rules, you may be able to make the coping mechanisms a logical consequence of the need for coping mechanisms. It also may make his life a bit easier, because he will know what the worst-case-scenario is, and be less likely to panic as it draws near.

Ah, where do I begin...my son threated suicide frequently to the point I feel emotionally hostage. He been on anti-depressants since age 12. He has recently changed medicines and at a higher dose. I see much improvement but now he is exhibiting extreme OCD behaviors. To be truthful it is hard to figure out what is a side effect and what is part of the whole "package". However, If someone is depressed and not being treated EVERYTHING else is magnified. His attitude has approved and the suicide threats have eased up (that alone is worth a million dollars).

Life coach, have someone shadow him for a while he needs one on one and some encouragement in the confidence area! Change is a issue he may not like a teacher and is having a bad semester, look into having someone along side him for a spell! God Bless his journey!

My son is on a higher dose different antidepressant and I have seen a great improvement in attitude. He refuses to take a mood stabilizer which the doctor feels will help with the OCD behaviors. He was recently approved for SSI (which was fast tracked because of the suicidal thoughts).He receives a small amount of money @ mo, but as of yet still is w/o medical coverage. That is what is really needed! But, the improvement in attitude is worth more than a million dollars to me!