That depends on the needs of your child with autism, as well as the needs of your other children. As the mother of a 19 year old with severe autism, I can tell you her needs changed over the years. Between the ages of 2 and 8, we really didn't alter our routine much. Between ages 8 and 12, we noticed the stimulation of family gatherings, shopping malls, etc. seemed to set her off. After age 12, her negative behaviors when over stilulated became so intense, we found we had to seriously alter our routine or simply not participate in over-stimulating activities. MY ADVICE: wherever you are, ALWAYS provide a "sactuary" for your child with autism! At home, this is my daughter's bedroom. When she becomes "over-stimulated" she simply goes to her room and closes the door. She has her bed, a TV, VCR/DVD player, a computer with internet access, an iPad, a beanbag chair, blue and red colored rope lights (sometimes she likes to turn out the ceiling lights and sit in a dark room with only the blue lights on), a boombox with iPod, her drawing supplies, dolls, toys, several pillows, a weighted blanket, etc.......In other words, she has a sactuary place she knows is "hers", where she can go to escape the stilumation, and where she can do whatever makes her feel best. My extended family FINALLY understands her needs, and try to provide a room for her to "escape" to when our family gatherings are in their home. We bring a bunch of her things, put them into this room, and make sure she understands that this is her "sactuary" for the night. This works out well, as long as the other children in the family don't intrude on her. So, now we make sure we have two rooms set aside, one for the grandkids, and one for my daughter.

It's okay to start creating your own traditions that meet the needs of your children.

Holidays typically mean lots of people coming into the life of the child who aren't used to him/her and vice versa. Lots of good suggestions here. All I'd add is to take the time to prep relative and guests ahead of time to understand your child's cues and set expectations about the level of interaction. I've seen grandparents get very despondent and near tears cause my son would ignore them after not seeing them for months. And they subsequently disengage. In some ways that's good. But they need to understand how to get someone with autism to "warm up" to them. And it's always good to let them know what are good reinforcers for "pairing". And certainly everyone ought to be prepared for what to do and not do during a meltdown. Because the intuitive thing for them all to do is to immediately gather around the child and console him. Which is often counterproductive and has the reverse effect.

The routine thing... As in daily has never taken hold in my house. For holidays I just make sure my son ain't crowded. If he goes to the playroom, I ask my niece (10) to keep and eye on him and get me or bring him to me if he gets upset. Otherwise I go with the flow. Much less stressful.

OK, the power of prayer starts our day everyday.