If you have a ASD diagnosis , I would use that to the fullest and have an IEP. 504s are very minimal. with an IEP that must follow it directly and you can always lower it to a 504 later in his school years.
1) OT and PT for hand strength and and finger dexterity which is: Dexterity helps fingers and hands to coordinate for completing fine tasks like writing, sewing, and playing string instruments.
2) sensitivity to sounds and overwhelmed in large crowds would be OT to help with distressing during assemblies plus ear plug or headphones help a lot outside of the home. ( I obtained hyperacusis after an accident and it is very painful and throws your whole body out of balance.)
3)Has he been evaluated by a PT? most times their are balance issues with the sound sensitivity.
4) How is he doing in the classroom with following instruction, keeping up with the other kids during math, reading, writing, other activities- If you feel he is falling behind his peers and it is affecting his self esteem, you can request an one on one aide that will keep him focused, help him complete tasks. . He can also get pull outs for special reading lessons during the reading/writing time in his classroom. This would give him one on one and not be overwhelmed.
If you have the ASD disorder in writing use it to his advantage, the school is required to keep him in the least restricted environment with his peers, and that means with as much help that doesn't interfere with the learning of others in the classroom.
I would agree with @A MyAutismTeam Member with some of the tools to help.

But with the ASD, inattentiveness, language issues, you should be able to get a one on one for him. Just keep pushing "The no kids behind Act" and the "least restricted environment" and he will also benefit from following his peers with language.

I can relate to why he is exhausted when he gets home, my cognitive therapist explained it to me for why I get so exhausted. It's like you have a change jar and it's full after you rest or sleep but everytime you do a task you take some change out, each task uses more change than others. If you don't have time to refill that jar those tasks almost become impossible and really work your brain. You are working on and empty tank.
Did that sound right?

Mentioned Users

A MyAutis...

books on tape, scribe, speech to text software, pixwriter software for beginner writers/readers, DIRECT INSTRUCTION reading and writing programs for instruction, adapted reading assignments, highlighters (either used by the student or pre-done by para/teacher for important information/less reading), neo2 (or other keyboard device for writing assignments), extended time for assignments.... completely depends on the individual and what they need, want and is actually helpful! I would be glad to point in you in some more specific direction with some more details.... (grade/age, verbal ability, motor skills. visual and auditory skills, behavioral concerns, type of class/program....)

Written Expression: Use of graphic organizers, shortened assignments, dictation to scribe, being able to type extended written responses (4 or more sentences) on the computer.

Reading: read alouds are primarily used but I have seen students get modified reading assignments.

I would agree with @A MyAutismTeam Member, she has a lot of valuable info. The public school actual pays the charter schools for each child they have attend and if the public school gets any grants, they have to hand some of it over to the charter schools. A lot of school try to not give your child what he deserves because special needs children cost so much more a year than a NT child. We had friends that homeschooled their own children and that group gets to be close. Seeing my son go through 6 schools through his school years, we have had issues to. Also my seeing the cruelty and children not wanting to engage with our children because they are afraid. My son doesn't have many friends and seeing the difference in NT kids on there interaction when they came upon Mitchell at a baseball game or the park is very heartbreaking. But that only goes to parents not knowing how to act either. I kick myself in the butt for not putting my son in boys scout. He was interested but I was nieve and worried about how much interruptions he would cause. Boy did I make a mistake. You control the socialization of your child and if a school and teachers are not willing to help directly then just being in that school doesn't matter.
As far as getting a diagnosis, get your doctor to write the school a letter stating what he was diagnosed with and what he recommends for him. If the school keeps giving you a hard time drop your states special education directors name and that they will be sent a copy of your letter to him/her.

No school wants the state to get involved because it makes the school have to complete a lot of paperwork and they will be under the microscope now. It's a little trick we used twice in 2 different school districts. So to say we never sent a letter and they agreed to what we were asking for because it was reasonable not ridiculous stuff.

You also have the right to look at other school districts if they have a better program for your child, sometimes even a private school. If the school does not have the available accommodations your child needs to learn, then they have to send them to another school that does. I believe that is covered under the "No kids left behind act". I also would call a local autism chapter and see if you can talk to an advocate, you are allowed to have other people in your IEP meetings plus you can record them as long as you say so before and put it on the table. I wish your son luck. You can pull him anytime during school year or transfer him also. My son spent 3 months in 2 schools and I had him transferred out after the Christmas holiday because they were making him regress not progress. That's another key word to use always REGRESS. just little tricks you find out.

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A MyAutis...

Okay, so handwriting without tears is a good handwriting program, but make sure that data/progress is being taken to see if it is indeed helping with your son...also instruction in the physical aspects of handwriting are not helpful, if they are only done 15minutes a day, but the rest of the time he is allowed to "draw" the letters...it would be better to do the 15 minute handwriting instruction with OT then be using a keyboard the rest of the day, that way he gets ONLY perfect practice with formation and can focus on the purpose of writing (sharing ideas) the rest of the time without further habituating incorrect/slow letter formation.
Direct Instruction is not the same as "one-on-one" instruction. "Direct Instruction" is a specific protocol/methodolgy...many people use the term loosely... Direct Instruction is explicit teaching and is proven to be far better across all areas of progress/learning than any other methodology. Here is a link with more information on Direct Instruction method and programs....this should be done both in the gen ed classroom and reinforced (or "primed"/preview of lesson content) in the special education classroom. http://www.teach-nology.com/teachers/methods/mo... should ask what curriculums are being used and then look into them to see if any are Direct Instruction.
Also, charter schools are bound by the same laws as public schools 9though they have sneaky ways of getting around them). Your dr is incorrect abou the "social" problems with homeschooling and I encourage you to look up local homeschooling groups in your area and ask around about activities/classes and such for homeschooled children....I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of high quality social interaction available when homeschooling....and to be completely honest have found that a lot of homeschool kids do very well with interacting with my son (who has "moderate" autism and is semi-verbal).
accommodations are a must! Having "interactive "notes" (cue cards using pictures is what comes to mind) to help your son participate actively in class discussions over reading material (teachers should plan together and make sure that these are in place AHEAD of time, even photo copying and cutting pictures of characters/setting/ect is an easy way to creat supports for comprehension/participation....he can even use pre-cut picture/word cards to answer questions/worksheets if those are used)....