I very much appreciate your answer and constructive criticism, but even though my son's mother and I are not together, we do have each other's back most of the time and I meant no disrespect with the used of part-time, but I have been raising my son since he was 2 years old and he's 5 now, I've left my career as a truck driver to be a fulltime parent and I have never talked ill against my son's mother around him or anyone because after finding out our son had asd, dd and spd was too much for her to handle, but now she is making a effort to be involved in his life more which is all I ever wanted from her in the first place. I like the answer you provided for me because I am still a parent in training and want all the help I can get.

I was thinking the vomiting was from stress and anxiety as well.

Let's start at the beginning. First, Your use of the term "part time parent"shows that There apparently is a division in the relationship with your sons mother. Just so you know sir there is no such thing as a part time parent. We are parents full time and for life. Secondly, Decision making is a joint "TEAM" effort in the world of autism. For example, You can not be a surgeon and operate with only a left hand. A right hand is just as important. As is the mother of your child. Try this. Work as a team for once in the interest of your child. He needs love, nurturing, and a strong male presence to guide him. You see love is unified, nurturing comes from his mother, and you must be strong for the both of them. One sensory issue with kids that is overlooked is their feelings as a result of actions of parents. Vomiting can also be caused by nerves and it sounds like he was having anxiety about leaving his mom.

Out of respect for the other parent I would inform them of the small decisions but is you have the child the most you know the little things that work better then others and what they need when certain things happen. So I say include by informing just out of respect don't wait for the school or what ever to tell the other parent

It's a tough call. I think that you're right, for big things, as long as she's trying to be more involved with your son's life, she should be included. But for minor things (heck, I am still married and if I keep my kid home because he's ill I don't tell my husband right away! Or ever if he's deployed or TDY etc.) it shouldn't be a big deal. I mean, if your baby is throwing up, why should you need to consult with her before you decide to bring him home instead of taking him to school? Perhaps as an afterthought, a courtesy call to let her know, perhaps inquire about what may have made him sick... was he around something, did he eat something, was he stressed?

But, I wonder if, she wasn't more upset that you simply did not let her know he was that ill... and rather than expressing it in that way, said it differently. Perhaps, this is just her way of trying to say she wants more involvement? I cannot say for certain but aside from saying she was being cranky, I wanna say there might be more to it than just that.

I'd kindly ask her exactly why it upset her that you did not tell her you'd be taking him home instead of to school. See if the real reason behind her being upset comes out and see about compromising in future situations. But, I'd also inform her that when he is ill that you ARE going to make judgment calls you deem best for your son as well as the safety of children around him. (No parent wants their kids coming home with a tummy virus!) Here, if your child is throwing up, has the runs or a fever, they aren't allowed back at school until it's been 24 hours without medication since their fever, diarrhea or vomiting.

I am glad she's trying to be more involved. It's insane to think how many parents, both mothers and fathers, tuck tail and run or just become in total denial over an autism diagnosis. It's tough to handle for many people. For us, it was a relief to finally understand because it took years of me begging doctors to tell me what was wrong with my baby. But for others.... it's like their world ended. I would not discourage her involvement, big or small, but I would let her know that you will ALWAYS do what is right for him. And if she wants to be more involved, she needs to tell you. Heck, ask her to really think what is most important, write it down and sit down and discuss how the two of you can always keep each other informed when it comes to these situations.

Let her know, a boy needs his father but his mother is just as important. You want her there for him! But it doesn't have to be a battle. :)