Hi there...I recall getting the gut punch diagnosis over 5 years ago....will never forget that day. However, what I think about it now is WAY different then what I thought about it then. I think that only comes with time. That said, a few suggestions to start:
1- Get yourself a good team. Find a good primary pediatrician if you don't already have one. Get a developmental pediatrician if you don't have one (ours had an 8 month waiting list before we got in). Get a case worker through early intervention or the IU. Suggest pushing hard for a Behavioral Specialist Consultant (BSC) to serve as oversight and to lay out a strategy that incorporates speech, OT, behavioral, cognitive and other services that may be required. This person for us kept tabs on strategies being used by all of the therapists and ensured they were aligned and effective
2- agree, get the IEP updated to get additional services started ASAP. At the end of the day, the only thing that the autism label is good for is securing services....get them going and don't settle for less than he needs. We had some IU workers say at his IEP meeting "we don't want him to have too many services because he'll be exhausted at the end of the day".....my response "he's my kid, he needs to learn, I'll decide when he's exhausted"- there will be some that will use a diagnosis as an excuse to "take it easy" on your son. For my son, during his formative years it meant that he needed to be pushed harder and for longer. This is clearly not for all children on the spectrum....but it was for my son.
3- No doctor or therapist knows your kid like you do, in order to make the most of your son's therapist sessions I'd suggest designated time (especially early on) for you to convey things to the therapists that work and don't work well for your son. You are around him all the time, they see him for brief periods.....shorten the learning curve for them by letting them know as much as possible about your boy
4- ask ALOT of questions but realize that no one has all the answers. The autism puzzle piece is a great symbol because every kid is truly different. Everything that you get as advice (including what I wrote above) is what happened to be effective for the person giving it to you. It may work well for your son or be a waste of time......you'll have to try alot of things to find what he responds best to.
5- took me a while to understand this myself for my son, but realize that nothing has changed for your son....he is the same kid that he was before he got the diagnosis. He has the same potential that you thought he did before hand.

Good luck

I am right with you. My son is 2 1/2, and we just got his diagnosis. Although I don't have an answer to your question, I can tell you this group has helped me emensley!

The important thing is not to panic. As you mentioned, you've been in therapy already and have an IEP. That's a huge head start already. My 12 year old was diagnosed at 2 years old. He was non-verbal at that point so we started off with a 'pre-PECS' system of pictures. I used my digital camera and took pictures of regular things he liked to eat, like juice, cheese sticks, Goldfish, etc. and taped them to the fridge. I taught him that if he touched one of the pictures, I'd give him whatever it was. It took about 2 weeks.

www.do2learn.com has a ton of picture cards you can print for free for just about any situation. Use them to introduce body parts, new and scary situations (dentist, etc.) and make a social story out of them. Look up 'social story' and see examples of how to make your own. I bought a cheap laminating machine, some velcro, and made our own little book of pictures. Teach him that he can combine different picture cards to make a sentence. (I WANT...BROWN...MILK) The key is to keep on doing what you're doing: therapies and early interventions. Take him to public places as much as he can tolerate. Expose him to new people and environments in small doses. Avoid places that set of anxieties (we couldn't go to Chucky Cheese's for a looooong time) and you'll be ok.

The elementary school will take his IEP and adapt it to the new setting and start adding goals for the year. You will be a vital participant in the process. If you think he should get more of this or more of that, ask (nicely). Yes, the teachers and administrators are the 'experts' but you know your child.

It's going to be ok. Really.

Get ready to be hit with all kinds of therapy suggestions. Keep up the research and make some decisions. Time and money will be your real limitations as early intervention is stressed but actually getting help is a real issue. Our family had to move because services were lacking. It might happen to you because local conditions very so widely that you won't believe most of us live on the same country after reading others' posts.

Thanks! Thankfully, we had been doing speech therapy before his diagnosis so we already had an IEP in place. We will just need to update it now as his needs are more comprehensive