There is no easy answer to this question because it is different for everyone. I have said to many that until you fully accept that life is going to be different for you and your child from here out you will not be fully able to help them, and I really believe that.

Some say that you don't have to accept it but instead just deal with the situation but I think there is more to it than that. Yes you can never give up hope and yes you can always strive for the best no matter what, but unless you are all in you are doing yourself and your child a disservice. Some are not ready to accept right away and that is ok because autism takes a while to fully understand and deal with, but eventually you learn that it is a lifelong condition and battles need to be fought and won.

Your child needs you and you are the won who has to fight and speak for them so you need to be at your best to do it. There are going to be struggles and your are going to be tired and feel beat up but you can and will get through it. People here can help and guide you when you feel you are alone. Always remember you are not alone we are all going through the same thing and we know how you feel.

I hope that helps and I wish you the best.

This is a difficult question to answer as everyone accepts the diagnosis differently and it really depends on the severity of autism and how open you are to everything you have to look forward to. My son and I are both on the spectrum, so for me it wasn't difficult at all to accept. In fact it was a relief to have the diagnosis... I did not get diagnosed until after he did. I always thought he was "normal, typical" because he was like me. I only assumed he had like ADHD and sleep disorders and hated food... struggled for years to get a doctor willing to LISTEN to these concerns. My husband had been telling me for years he thought I had autism and I always assumed he was just being a jerk. I had no idea he was serious, and always ignored the comments. :) We have Asperger's, and while he is verbal and able to function at a higher level, he has his own set of challenges. Thankfully, and perhaps it's purely because he loved me before our baby was born haha, my husband has fully accepted the diagnosis. I've seen many fathers (and some mommy's) absolutely REFUSE to accept an autism diagnosis, one to the point of hindering his daughters ability to get proper help...

Whereas, my husband's cousin is non-verbal and her challenges are different than my sons, but, her parents and grandparents have completely, utterly, embraced her and the diagnosis and treat her like an absolute princess. That is to say, they don't feel hindered or burdened by her autism diagnosis and she is their entire world. And thankfully, they've never looked down on our different struggles with our son or tried to compare the two, because they are different.

What, I feel, every parent, sibling, friend, grandparent, etc needs to accept is that you still have a tiny human who needs your love and understanding. Yes, life could be better, but it could also be much worse. And life is a roller-coaster no matter what. You'll have good days, and bad days, and great days and days you wish never happened. And you nor your daughter asked for this, but it's there. The best you can do is be there for her every step of the way. She's still your beautiful baby.

As time goes on, and she grows, you'll find yourself being so proud of so many things. You'll have the advantage of learning not to take the small things for granted, you'll have much more patience than most people. I will tell you, the bond I have with my youngest son, is a bond I never thought I'd have with anyone.

By acceptance, I'm guessing you're asking at what point does someone stop mourning/grieving the life that the parent wanted for his/her child and embrace the life that the child was given. I think it's different for every person.

Several months after by my first son's diagnosis, someone told me I needed to "embrace the diagnosis". It has been one of the better pieces of advice that I've received on this autism journey. It empowered to move on to find out as much I could about my son's situation and what we could do about it.

When I got to that point, I'm not sure if acceptance is the right word. However, it did get me to stop grieving the loss of the parenting experience that I expected. Still after 5 years, sometimes there is a day or a moment when I see something that reminds me my child is not having the childhood that I expected. In that moment the grief returns, but it doesn't last.

To me, it will take more than a lifetime. The three years have seen some improvement and there are kids who are worse off than my daughter so I try to keep that in mind. She's somewhat verbal but still has never answered a "why" question. I don't think she will ever be independent so it's not a case of growing up and out of autism which you'll hear a lot about. She going to outlive us baring a disaster because she has no physical problems.

You can take steps can improve your kid's situation. From your profile, it looks like you already started on the early intervention and live in one the best states so you are already further ahead than a lot of people. My daughter just started ABA at age 6 after waiting and moving for 3 years.

We're considering moving again because a 9 month wait to get into an ABA program is unacceptable to us. That may be typical I don't know. My wife doesn't like Texas much and my job sucks up a lot overtime work without with overtime pay. I think my daughter's ASD makes me less tolerate of BS conditions because time and quality of life are even more precious.

Don't be surprised that friends, family and employers don't really get it unless that have had to live with someone who has more than a mild form of ASD. I still get comments about how she must have hidden special abilities with math and computers because they heard that most kids with ASD are really geniuses that are just inhibited socially.

you're going through a change and I don't know that there is any way to get to acceptance without going through the other stages (bargaining, grief, etc...). Took me 2 years to come completely through it.....took my wife ALOT less time. But you will get through it. I think alot has to do with your personality. I am a very analytical person that plans things out and has a very specific routine. My wife is the opposite, alot more easy going. I think the shock to me was greater because it not only encompassed my grief for the life my son was supposed to have but also the life that the rest of our family was supposed to have (ie. take kids to baseball practice, maybe honor roll, then to college, I'll work until I'm 60, retire, travel, get some grandkids, etc...). The diagnosis put all of that in jeopardy in my mind. Took me a long time to come to terms with it. My wife took more of a "we'll take it one day at a time" approach. I think that helped her get through alot faster. Only advice is to take great comfort in the small victories that you and your child have, they will carry you through.

Just as an example, I happened to be looking at a picture the other day of my son when he was 4 picking up a pencil for the first time with my help and trying to trace a letter. That was 3 years ago and I remember how upset I was that day. He could barely hold it and did not have the fine motor skills or strength to even leave a mark on the paper. Today he's 7 and writes 2 or 3 sentence journal entries every day by himself. When I see it, it nearly moves me to tears every time. Yes, he's had setbacks, yes he has to work harder than most, yes his future independence is uncertain at best, yes it can be mentally and emotionally exhausting, but it's all worth it to see him succeed....even if they are small successes.