well yes most of it is teenage things, but the thing is its been going on since he was little. He has only then mentally of a 5-7yr old. so the military school and stuff is out of the question since he doesn't even know that 1day isn't a yr. a girl to him is a boy and vice versa. He has a lot of mental issues and we where looking for answers on how to talk with him about not humping things. Yes my husband has spoke with him and he has no idea what any of it means. He doesn't even realize that its suppose to be a man and woman. He says that his pillows make him feel good. Thanks for the answer and insight.

Sound more like teenage stuff than ASD/ADHD. I suppose he's already had a father-son talk on the topic of sex. Is he into sports? If not, pick something that has some physical aspect to like hiking or play some sport even if he's on the bench all the time.

You could threaten him with military school like they used to in the old days. In 4 years he's going to do as he pleases so I'd rather deal with it now than have the school or cops deal with him later.

As far as the lack of empathy goes maybe volunteering for something might make him less self-centered.

My nephew had an attitude which got him into trouble. As an adult he ended up in jail a couple of times. Once he had a felony record life got that much harder. He was 14 and talked about going into the military. I told him not to get a felony because the Marines wouldn't want him then. The point is young people make mistakes but if you keep it up as an adult you'll have job, school and relationship problems that can be hard to overcome.