Connect with others who understand.

  • Learn from expert-reviewed resources
  • Real advice from people who’ve been there
  • People who understand what you’re going through
Sign Up Log In
Powered By
Real members of MyAutismTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭
Gallup, NM

My son is 19. He is a select verbal preferred communication is through a device, text messaging, etc. I’m unsure what to do there days that he looks extremely angry and mad his responses. He’s not. He has never physically hurt anybody or gotten violent (like throwing, and breaking stuff )Has anyone else dealt with this and what did they do to deal with this? I’m trying to do right by my son. I do work full-time. He does work two days a week. I don’t like having him on too much medication at… read more

November 5, 2025
 · 
Reactions
A MyAutismTeam Member

I can relate to your post because for myself having Autism, When I would be out w/ my mom cashiers or workers would try to get me to smile. My husband has told me that I look mad after coming home from places and I had no idea I was doing that. There have been times I've asked my son if he was okay because he would look upset or mad . He gets mad when I ask him if he's mad. So when I'm out in public now I try my best to smile otherwise I don't have any useful advice. I"d like to see others respond.

November 5, 2025
MyAutismTeam

How can you help your son when he appears angry but communicates he's not?

It sounds like there may be a disconnect between what your son's facial expressions or body language show and what he's actually feeling. This is common in autism, where nonverbal communication can be misinterpreted by others.

Since your son Show Full Answer

How can you help your son when he appears angry but communicates he's not?

It sounds like there may be a disconnect between what your son's facial expressions or body language show and what he's actually feeling. This is common in autism, where nonverbal communication can be misinterpreted by others.

Since your son communicates well through his device and text messaging, consider using those tools to check in with him directly when he appears upset. You might text him something like "You look frustrated right now. Are you okay? What's going on?" This gives him a chance to clarify through his preferred method.

Direct communication strategies that might help:

• Use specific, direct language when asking about his feelings rather than interpreting his expressions
• Ask him to use his device to explain what he's experiencing in the moment
• Create a system where he can communicate his actual emotional state through his device proactively
• Consider whether certain times of day, activities, or situations trigger this appearance even when he's not actually angry

Some parents have found that modeling direct language and encouraging their children to express themselves clearly through their preferred communication method helps reduce misunderstandings and frustration on both sides.

Since he's never been violent and communicates that he's not actually angry, it seems like this is more about helping both of you bridge the gap between how he appears and how he feels.

November 5, 2025
A MyAutismTeam Member

https://www.advancedautism.com/post/high-functi...

https://www.autismparentingmagazine.com/high-fu...

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6070295/

Autism services near Gallup, New Mexico, include accessing diagnostic evaluations from professionals like developmental pediatricians, child psychologists, or psychiatrists, and using therapies like Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA), which can be covered by New Mexico Medicaid. Other services to consider are speech, occupational, and physical therapy, and support for families, which may be provided by local providers or state programs.

Understanding Anger in Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
Individuals with ASD may experience anger more frequently or intensely than neurotypical individuals. This is due to a combination of factors, including:
Sensory Processing Difficulties:
ASD individuals may have heightened or altered sensitivity to sensory stimuli, such as loud noises, bright lights, or crowded environments. This can lead to overwhelming and frustrating experiences that trigger anger.
Communication Challenges:
Difficulty communicating needs, feelings, or misunderstandings can lead to frustration and anger.
Executive Functioning Challenges:
ASD individuals may struggle with planning, organizing, and managing their time, which can lead to stress and anxiety that contribute to anger.
Emotional Regulation Difficulties:
Individuals with ASD may have difficulty understanding and managing their own emotions, making them more prone to intense emotional outbursts, including anger.
Triggers:
Common triggers for anger in ASD individuals include sensory overload, changes in routine, social interactions, misunderstandings, and physical discomfort.
Management Strategies:
Identify and Avoid Triggers: Understanding and avoiding triggers can help prevent anger outbursts.
Develop Coping Mechanisms: Teach individuals coping strategies such as deep breathing exercises, visualization, or sensory activities to help regulate emotions.
Use Visual Supports: Visual schedules, pictures, or symbols can help individuals understand expectations and reduce anxiety.
Provide Sensory Breaks: Allow individuals to take breaks in quiet, low-stimulation environments when they feel overwhelmed.
Use Positive Reinforcement: Reward and praise appropriate behavior to encourage positive coping mechanisms.
Seek Professional Help: A therapist or counselor can provide support, guidance, and interventions to help individuals manage anger and improve their overall well-being.
It's important to remember that every individual with ASD experiences anger differently. What works for one person may not work for another. It's crucial to approach each situation with empathy, understanding, and a focus on finding effective strategies to manage anger and promote well-being.

Understanding High-Functioning Autism Anger Issues
Understanding High-Functioning Autism Anger Issues
High Functioning Autism And Anger | Advanced Autism Services
High Functioning Autism And Anger | Advanced Autism Services
Association between anger rumination and autism symptom severity, depression symptoms, aggression, and general dysregulation in adolescents with autism spectrum disorder
Association between anger rumination and autism symptom severity, depression symptoms, aggression, and general dysregulation in adolescents with autism spectrum disorder
November 5, 2025

Related Questions

View All
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭
Spencerville, OH

A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭
New York, NY