Connect with others who understand.

  • Learn from expert-reviewed resources
  • Real advice from people who’ve been there
  • People who understand what you’re going through
Sign Up Log In
Powered By
Real members of MyAutismTeam have posted questions and answers that support our community guidelines, and should not be taken as medical advice. Looking for the latest medically reviewed content by doctors and experts? Visit our resource section.
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭

How would you teach nonverbal son ‘calm’ and ‘wait’?
Tried count to ten which works for while only now
Any other suggestions?

August 17
 · 
Reactions
A MyAutismTeam Member

Taking deep breaths

August 17
A MyAutismTeam Member

https://kyocare.com/ten-practical-tips-for-teac...

Use Visual and Concrete SupportsWait Cards: Show a physical card with a picture of a hand stopping or a child waiting calmly so they have an immediate visual cue.First/Then Boards: Use pictures to show sequence, such as "First wait, then snack" or a preferred toy.Visual Timers: Use sand timers or digital countdown clocks so they can physically see how much longer the wait will take.Shape the Behavior GraduallyStart Tiny: Begin with a 2-to-3 second wait time before giving a desired item, celebrating even brief moments of quiet or stillness as a win.Slowly Increase Time: Extend the waiting period by a few seconds only after they consistently master the shorter duration.Provide Waiting Options: Give them a fidget toy or allow them to choose if they want to stand or sit while waiting to give them a sense of control.Maintain a Regulation-Friendly ApproachStay Silent and Calm: Avoid rapid-fire talking or repeating commands during distress; give their nervous system time to process the request.Reduce Sensory Overload: Lower loud background noises or dim harsh lights in the immediate area to help their body settle into a calm state.Reward the Quiet: If they cry or protest when told to wait, wait for a few seconds of calm behavior before delivering an alternative or the item to avoid reinforcing the outburst.

To help a nonverbal autistic child calm down during a meltdown or overload, reduce sensory input, stay quiet and low-key, and use deep pressure or safe physical comfort. Avoid asking questions or giving long explanations, as their brains cannot process extra words when stressed.

Reduce Sensory Overload
Turn down lights: Dim harsh overhead lights or move to a darker, shaded area.
Silence noise: Turn off TVs, music, or loud appliances, or offer noise-canceling headphones.
Clear the space: Move siblings, crowds, or cluttered objects away from the immediate area.

Adjust Your Approach
Use fewer words: Speak in a soft, slow voice or remain completely quiet; your calm presence helps them regulate.
Slow your movements: Avoid fast or dramatic gestures, and sit down on their level instead of towering over them.
Do not demand compliance: Wait to address behavior or teach lessons until the nervous system is fully settled.

Offer Comfort and Tools
Provide deep pressure: Use a weighted blanket, a heavy lap pad, or offer a firm, gentle squeeze if they accept touch.
Allow safe stimming: Let them rock, pace, flap their hands, or use a favorite fidget toy without trying to stop them.
Use familiar anchors: Hand them a preferred comfort object, like a specific stuffed animal or textured blanket.

Ten Practical Tips for Teaching Your Child to Wait: Using ABA Techniques for Patience and Self-Control - Kyo Autism Therapy
Ten Practical Tips for Teaching Your Child to Wait: Using ABA Techniques for Patience and Self-Control - Kyo Autism Therapy
August 17
MyAutismTeam

Teaching a nonverbal child concepts like "calm" and "wait" takes creativity and patience — and it's great that counting to ten has worked, even partially! Here are some approaches worth exploring:

Visual & Physical Cues
- Use simple picture cards showing "calm" and "wait" so he can see what's expected
- Pair a hand gesture Show Full Answer

Teaching a nonverbal child concepts like "calm" and "wait" takes creativity and patience — and it's great that counting to ten has worked, even partially! Here are some approaches worth exploring:

Visual & Physical Cues
- Use simple picture cards showing "calm" and "wait" so he can see what's expected
- Pair a hand gesture with each word consistently every time you use it
- Try sign language — a MyAutismTeam member shared it helped prevent frustration and reduced meltdowns significantly

Breathing Techniques
- Use a straw to practice slow, deep breaths together — making it a shared activity can feel less pressured
- Belly breathing (hand on tummy) can be turned into a simple game Sensory & Environmental Support
- Keep a small "calm kit" handy with a favourite toy, snacks, water, or music
- Music is powerful — singing favourite songs together can shift his mood and build communication bridges

Important tip: Avoid saying "calm down" directly, as this can actually increase anxiety when someone doesn't yet have the tools to do so. Instead, *show* and *model* calm by regulating your own breathing and body language first — autistic children are very sensitive to the emotions of those around them.

Every child responds differently, so mixing approaches and staying consistent is key! 💙

August 17

Related Questions

View All
A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭

A MyAutismTeam Member asked a question 💭
Boston, MA